*Humor* Romney Outsources Entire Campaign Organization to China

Gov. Mitt Romney was the guest of honor Friday at the ribbon cutting ceremony for what will be the nerve center of his entire 2012 presidential campaign organization – a 150,000 sq. ft. warehouse in China’s capital city. Romney looked on with pride as 5,000 Chinese factory workers marched inside the colossal structure to begin their 15-hour workday, manufacturing ‘Romney Job Creator #1!!’ bumper stickers and calling registered Republicans in key South Carolina counties.

“These workers represent what this campaign is all about – people coming together in spite of government regulations and labor laws to elect the only person in this race with private sector experience,” said Romney, who shuttered his former campaign headquarters in Boston as well as all his state and local campaign offices to consolidate his operation in Beijing.

Back in Boston, former Romney campaign volunteers remained outside their former workplace, gathered around steel drums packed with burning Romney yard signs for warmth, banking on the off chance that another candidate might arrive and put them back to work.

“It’s unfortunate, but I have to believe Governor Romney had our best interests in mind when he shipped our jobs to China,” said Lucy Kearns, 40, a former Romney phone bank operator-turned-vagrant.  “If it’s good for the bottom line, that’s what counts.”  Though there is speculation that Massachusetts Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren is eyeing the old Romney HQ for her campaign, Kearns flatly dismissed the notion of working for, “a Communist.”

Before departing from his new campaign headquarters, Romney offered a final defense for his controversial decision, explaining, “This is just what’s best for the campaign right now.  And campaigns – like corporations and other faceless, sexless concepts – are people, too.”