Question: Why Is the McDonalds Website so Scary?

No, seriously.

Or maybe alternately, “Who in their right mind would eat at McDonalds ever again after visiting the company’s website?!?!”

See video above. They don’t say, “Hi, how are you?” or try to dazzle you with the requisite “Here are all of our glorious food products you know and love” slideshows…or really anything remotely close.

You don’t even get the flat, emotionless “Hey…” you might expect to receive from one of the teenagers working the cash register after school.

No, what you are confronted with when you currently visit the front page of the main U.S. version of the McDonalds website is something downright…frightening.

It’s point blank “Your questions. Our food.”

Questions like, “Are there worms in your beef?,” “Is ‘pink slime’ in a chicken McNugget?,” and “Why doesn’t your food rot?”

Mmm. Appetizing. (Oh and that’s, by the way, in addition to a notice about a Happy Meal toy recall.)

Are they sure the slogan is “I’m lovin’ it!” and not, “I’m afraid of it!”?

Hey people…not to overstate the glaringly obvious here, but if you even have to ask those questions IN THE FIRST PLACE, maybe instead you should first ask yourself WHY you would ever eat it to begin with!

McDonalds recently went so far as to bring in the guys from the TV show MythBusters to try and “prove its McRibs aren’t that gross.”

If a company’s first contact with you is a creepy attempt to justify their crappy products and dispel rumors about whether or not they are real, natural, or possibly filled with worms… Even Monsanto pretends to love itself more than this.

Are we living in Idiocracy? Because our food obviously comes from there…

Hat Tips to David Lake (awesome man, hahaha), Lily Dane, Daisy Luther, and Cactus Smoke.