Humor: Is Chuck Norris the Ultimate Survivalist?

I have been following Chuck Norris’s career since I was a youngster. Whether battling evil ninja’s, radical terrorists, or chemically induced immortal psychopaths – Chuck kicks butt.

Chuck Norris continues to be a legend in the martial arts world. He has attained an almost God-like status due to his being an  all-knowing, over-powering super-being. Some doubt his skills and abilities. Some doubt his credentials as a Texas Ranger. Some get their butt kicked.

So – is Chuck Norris the ultimate survivalist? Let’s look at a few “facts”:

• Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
• They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn’t take s**t from anybody.
• Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.
• Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.
• Aliens do exist. They’re just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
• Ghosts sit around campfires and tell Chunk Norris stories.

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