This cycle’s presidential (s)election is the most ridiculous yet, and the inane level to which 2016 candidate schwag has sunk to proves it. Between Ted Cruz’s tattooed bad boy poster or his coloring book (crayons not included), Hillary Clinton’s “Grillary Clinton” spatula (now on sale!) and pantsuit tee, and Rand’s $500 autographed eye chart or “head-on-a-stick,” (hey, at least he changed the poorly named “Rand Paul Flip Flops” to “sandals”)…
I’m just not sure what crap I should buy to cheer on a complete dog-and-pony game show where the rules are all made up and the points don’t really matter!
(Although Rand selling “Hillary’s Hard Drive with Wiping Cloth” is actually pretty clever… only $59.95, but “Buyer beware, this product has had heavy use and it currently is no longer working”).
But I think possibly the funniest piece of swag comes from the Jeb Bush campaign, and no, I’m not talking about the $75 cheap plastic guacamole bowl you could probably get at any local dollar store that his shop’s website says is for “funday Sundays” and which doesn’t even have his logo on it.
Jeb’s gauc recipe? Yeah right. Like we’re supposed to believe that guy makes his own food.
No, the crowning glory (so-to-speak) of Jeb’s presidential store is this shirt about his dad:
It reads, “My dad is the greatest man I’ve ever known, and if you don’t think so we can step outside.”
As per the description, it’s Jeb, summing up his love for George H. W. CIA War Criminal Bush in “one powerful quote” for just $25.
And if you don’t agree that George H.W. Bush is the greatest man ever, apparently you and Jeb can “step outside”.
Have fun with that.
I envision this battle a lot like in those movies where the evil mastermind is a total sissy that has paid henchman fight all his fights for him.
Yeah, I know, you’ll probably say, “But everyone knows Jeb totally sucks! That’s why he only has four percentage points at the polls and falling.” Oh yeah? So did McCain before he became the 2008 nominee, remember?
But this is a long show, and all the distraction candidates and “avatars for dissatisfaction” you see strutting around up there now are just warm-up acts. Sure, it’s pretty entertaining, but we all know who the unofficial dynasty families are in this county and which two people will end up as nominees in some form and fashion in 2016.
Stop lying to yourself. Deep down we all know that, somehow someway, the establishment will attempt to shove Jeb (and Hillary) down the voters’ collective throats even though no one with an IQ over 75 would actually willingly vote for another Bush president.
P.S. – And no, I wasn’t making it up about the tattooed Ted Cruz “Blacklisted & Loving It” Poster. (Warning: CAN’T UNSEE!)
One of the whitest guys ever in the history of white guys apparently also has a poster that says “Straight Outta Congress”.
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Contributed by Melissa Dykes of The Daily Sheeple.
Melissa Dykes is a writer, researcher, and analyst for The Daily Sheeple and a co-creator of Truthstream Media with Aaron Dykes, a site that offers teleprompter-free, unscripted analysis of The Matrix we find ourselves living in. Melissa and Aaron also recently launched Revolution of the Method and Informed Dissent. Wake the flock up!