Brace Yourselves for Another Vapid Election Cycle

I’m sure you’ve noticed at one point or another, the nauseating habit that most retailers have for starting their Christmas ads earlier and earlier every year. It’s an effect that retailers have dubbed the “Christmas creep”, and by all accounts it’s a profitable tactic. In fact, recent research has found that about a third of consumers begin their Christmas shopping in September. It’s safe to assume that if this trend continues, someday we’ll be swamped with holiday commercials year round.

I should probably shut my mouth before I give Madison Avenue any crazy ideas, but I digress. A similar trend can be found in America’s “democratic” process. It has a serious problem with what I’m officially dubbing “election creep,” i.e the tendency for political campaigns to start earlier and earlier every election cycle. I probably don’t have to tell you that this election creep has progressed to a point that would make most retailers blush, with this year being especially ridiculous.

Earlier today, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker introduced the first political ad for the 2016 presidential election. It’s only been 3 months since the 2014 election, and only one day since Governor Walker took the first steps towards starting his presidential campaign, and he already has a slick ad to present to the sheeple.

So to celebrate the start of the 2016 Bilderberg selection presidential election, I think I’ll present my favorite political ad of all time. I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to post this until much later in the year, but since the the race has just begun, it’s time to mark the occasion with an appropriate video. Hopefully this will help you prepare for the wave of mindless nonsense that is sure to arrive on your televisions, and in your mailboxes in the months to come.