No, I’m not kidding.
Some years ago, not long after skin superglue became available to accident and emergency departments in the UK we had an injured fireman come to the unit.
He had a flesh wound in his groin. So, after all the jokes about me never seeing a hose that big etc, I set to work.
I cleaned and dried the area, applied the glue, turned around and dumped my surgical gloves in the bin, no pint getting super sticky stuff everywhere.
As I turned my scrub top brushed the wound…and stuck. In a panic I tried to free it before it set too hard, and ended up with my fingers stuck to the firefighters groin. At this point he is laughing hysterically, and I am just hysterical with panic.
The boss comes over and tentatively tries to unstick us, to no avail. After about ten minutes it’s decided we will have to go to theatre to be surgically parted, putting a solvent on a fresh wound was not an option.
A blanket is thrown over our intrepid hero and my hand. As we move along the corridors, me walking backwards, and him with a large lump showing under the blanket he gave me the most evil grin I have ever seen. Do remember my hand is stuck to his groin. We stopped next to the lift and waited for it to arrive.
“Faster, faster” he shouts, then rolls his eyes and flops back onto the pillow groaning and panting.
“I had no idea what you could get on the National Health service these days” He said to a group of astounded onlookers waiting for the elevator next to ours.
It took the surgeon twenty minutes to separate us, 18 minutes laughing and two minutes to do the job.
The bar is set…beat that lol.
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Contributed by Lizzie Bennett of Underground Medic.
Lizzie Bennett retired from her job as a senior operating department practitioner in the UK earlier this year. Her field was trauma and accident and emergency and she has served on major catastrophe teams around the UK. Lizzie publishes Underground Medic on the topic of preparedness.