A farmer in Stafford County, about forty miles south of Washington, D.C. alerted authorities to tell them he was holding a would-be goat rustler at gunpoint in one of his fields the other night.
The farmer told deputies his wife had gone outside to check on their goats and discovered they’d been let out of their pen.
The farmer tracked the suspect to the field, where he found the man apparently intoxicated and slurring his words, the department said. Three goats were tied up next to the suspect’s truck.
According to the sheriff’s office, the suspect actually passed a breathalyzer test and was only pretending to be intoxicated. Apparently he thought pretending to be drunk and trying to steal goats would look better than trying to abscond with the animals while stone-cold sober.
The farmer eventually recognized the suspect as someone he had sold goats to in the past. 19-year old Cole Schrock was allegedly looking for a five-fingered discount this time around, but instead of goating.. er, getting away with it, he’s now facing charges of larceny of animals, identity theft to avoid arrest and unlawful entry with the intent to commit larceny.
Fortunately, no humans or animals were injured during the Valentine’s Day encounter. The farmer said this was a first for him, and that he usually “only has to worry about 4-legged [predators] like coyotes.”
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Contributed by Sean Walton of The Daily Sheeple.