The CIA Just Sent Out Its First Tweet

To what amounts to uproarious digital applause on the social media site Twitter, the CIA — one of the American government’s principle secretive intelligence gathering agencies most recently in the news for setting up a fake vaccination program that resulted in dozens of doctor’s deaths as part of its espionage efforts in Pakistan prior to Bin Laden’s supposed assassination — has officially sent out its first Tweet:

We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.
— CIA (@CIA) June 6, 2014

Get it? They can neither confirm or deny its their first Tweet, just like they can neither confirm or deny any of the horrible stuff they do…

The new account already has 187,000 followers. Its description reads, “We are the Nation’s first line of defense. We accomplish what others cannot accomplish and go where others cannot go.”

With nearly 140,000 shares and over 77,500 favorites (at the time of writing this), people apparently loved the Tweet in droves:

The @CIA finally has twitter…my life is now made — Bulele Hlongwane (@StalkerBulele) June 6, 2014

Whoever thought of this needs a raise. “@CIA: We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.” #CIAisonTwitter — Andrew Benkovic (@andrewbenkovic) June 6, 2014

Lol! Funniest tweet of the day!! “@CIA: We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.” — Franklin Police Dept (@FranklinTNPD) June 6, 2014

@CIA Since you may be following me at any given time, it’s only fair I now get to follow you! #thanks @CIA — Elsa Ramon (@ElsaRamon) June 6, 2014

We can neither confirm or deny that the @CIA‘s first tweet was perfect. (Truth: Confirmed.) http://t.co/dKC7irLmns

— CNBC (@CNBC) June 6, 2014

But not everyone was quite so enamored with the agency’s cutesy attempt at humor:

@CIA more like: “We’ve obviously been on here for years, watching, judging & at times water-boarding.” Oh god please don’t hack me to #GITMO

— Dave Shellnutt (@daveshellz) June 6, 2014

We can neither confirm nor deny our tax dollars are hard at work RT: @CIA: We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.

— Kevin Kozlowski (@KevinKozlowski) June 6, 2014

you ol’ spying, crack distributing, torturing, killing muthaf… RT @CIA: We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.

— Mychal Denzel Smith (@mychalsmith) June 6, 2014

“@CIA We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet” haha so funny. STOP MURDERING INNOCENT PEOPLE WITH DRONES

— Occupy Wall Street (@OccupyWallStNYC) June 6, 2014

Meanwhile, America waits with bated breath for that first selfie post…

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