Take a Look at These Crooks: This Year’s 5 Highest-Paid American CEOs

The Guardian today has a nice photo gallery of the highest paid rogues (based on 2010 compensation – 2011 numbers not yet in) in what is quickly becoming the greatest oligarchy in the world. I suggest you go take a look at the faces on display of the top five monsters criminals hard working folks who are American CEO’s, starting with:

1. John Hammergren, McKesson Corporation: $145,266,971.

He runs the largest health care firm in the known universe (Gross revenues of $108.7 BILLION) and if his company is merged or otherwise acquired his take from this year’s stock options (part of his compensation) would be roughly $469 MILLION.

2. Joel F. Gemunder, Omnicare, $98,283242

Omnicare provides “pharmaceutical care” for old people (i.e, sells meds to nursing homes). He retired this year, will receive a severance package of $6 MILLION and all his stock options and restricted stock are immediately vested (value roughly $18 to $22 Million). Morningstar Footnoted calculates his going away presents at $133 MILLION which is higher than The Guardian’s numbers, but in any case he still comes in at second place.

3. John Plant, TRW Automotive Holdings, $76,841,646.

He was actually given a $2.5 MILLION bonus for not leaving the company and $4.5 MILLION for unspecified “additional factors.” Where can I find a job like that? I have additional factors up the wazoo.

4. Frank Coyne, CEO Verisk Analytics Inc. $76,416,276.

Verisk Analytics Inc. is the “leading source of information about risk.” I guess it’s a lucrative field these days. Over the 12 months ending September 30, 2011 it earned gross profits of $765.08 MILLION.

5. Thomas M Ryan, CVS Caremark Corporation. $68,079,823

From the Guardian: “Ryan made $50m on the pharmacy chain’s shares last year. During his 13 years as CEO the firm’s share price has halved.” Heck I would have done that for them at half the cost and saved them a bundle! Extra bonus information: CVS Caremark manages my prescription insurance plan and I can assure you it lives up to its reputation for exceptionally poor costumer service.

To be honest I was going to run down the whole list for you but I just got sick to my stomach after the first five. Of course, this list doesn’t include the people with the highest incomes in 2010 or 2011, just CEO’s. In fact, the guys on the Guardian’s list look like pikers compared to the people who pull down the really big bucks.

For the highest income earners you have to go through the toxic waste manufacturers otherwise known as Hedge Fund managers. The best of the best (or worst of the worst, depending on your point of view) of those people (i.e., the top ten)averaged 2.2 Billion Dollars in 2010. However, I can only wade through so much muck in a day.

So for all of you who are working two (or three) jobs, are underemployed or can’t find a job to save your home and/or life because there aren’t enough to go around, just think of these lovely people with all their lovely piles of money and that warm glow you feel about their obscene riches might just help you make it through our joyous holiday season should your heat be cut off this winter.

Ps. And people still ask what the Occupy Wall Street protestors want?