Space Force: Trump Wants 6th Military Branch

In what’s being declared a “surprise announcement” today at the third meeting of the White House’s newly reconvened Space Council, President Donald Trump announced his intention to create a new Space Force within the U.S. Armed Forces. The sixth military branch will expand the United States’ already murderous foreign policy to beyond the planet.

“We are going to have the Air Force and we are going to have the Space Force — separate but equal. It is going to be something.  So important,” the President said. The U.S. government must be tired of bombing people on Earth. Just what the US needs – a bigger and more bloodthirsty military. “When it comes to defending America, it is not enough to merely have an American presence in space. We must have American dominance in space,” the President said.

According to Tech Crunch,  Defense Secretary James “Mad Dog” Mattis has already voiced opposition to the creation of a new branch of the military last year when the idea was first proposed by Congress. Congressional leadership first floated the creation of the sixth branch of the armed forces focused on space combat last year and Mattis promptly blasted the idea. But it seems that Trump doesn’t care.

Trump is now “directing the Department of Defense and Pentagon to immediately being the process necessary to establish a space force as the sixth branch of the armed forces.” The House Armed Services Committee began pushing for the creation of a space corps last year as part of the last spending authorization bill for the military. The new military force would fall under the purview of the Air Force in the same way that Marines work with the Navy, according to the proposal.

That spending authorization bill was ultimately approved, but the space corps proposal was left on the cutting floor. Now the proposal is horrifyingly taking flight at the highest levels of the Trump Administration. The newly reconvened Space Council is helmed by Vice President Mike Pence.  At today’s announcement were celebrity astronauts like Jack Schmitt, Buzz Aldrin, and Eileen Collins. Also in attendance were Gwynne Shotwell, Wes Bush of Northrup Grumman, and Bob Smith, the chief executive of Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin.

“This time, we will do more than plant our flag and leave our footprints. We will establish a long-term presence, expand our economy, and build the foundation for the eventual mission to Mars — which is actually going to happen very quickly,” Trump said. “And, you know, I’ve always said that rich guys seem to like rockets. So all of those rich guys that are dying for our real estate to launch their rockets, we won’t charge you too much. Just go ahead. If you beat us to Mars, we’ll be very happy and you’ll be even more famous.”