Some people just can’t lose gracefully. Then again, in this particular instance I’m talking about the state loterry, which has also been referred to as, “a tax on people who flunked math”.
One Philadelphia, Pennsylvania woman, 47-year-old Towanda Shields, isn’t just frustrated that she keeps losing that big jackpot on her scratch off tickets. She’s outright pissed. She’s so pissed, in fact, that she has called the state lotto office dozens of times and threatened the lives of pretty much everyone there.
Via Yahoo! News:
“From the calls and stuff I’ve listened to, she’s basically completely obsessed with the lottery and the fact that she doesn’t win upsets her very much,” Detective Robert Appleby said. “She would get really sexually explicit with her insults.”
Appleby said that in late October, Shields said someone would die at the retail store where she buys tickets. He said she has also told lottery employees she had searched for them online, knew where they lived and had hired someone to hurt their family members…
“She basically taunted me the one time when I spoke to her as well — ‘I switch phones. Y’all will never figure out where I am,'” Appleby said.
She likes to end some of her threats with the lottery tagline “Keep on scratchin'”.
Shields claims the First Amendment gives her the right to make the threatening calls, so she keeps buying cheap burner cell phones to continue making threatening phone calls to the lotto office. Due to some of the information she provided in her over 21 voicemails the office retained, the cops were able to determine her identity easily enough, so the burner phones aren’t really helping her all that much.
Police have now filed 25 counts each of stalking and harassment against Shields, in addition to three counts of making terroristic threats. In Pennsylvania, just one count of stalking can land a person in jail for up to one year, but repeated counts become felonies punishable by up to seven years in prison. In short, this lady could land herself in the big house for a really long time over this.
Meanwhile, the punchline here is that Shields doesn’t seem to realize if she does ever manage to win the big scratch-off jackpot,
…she’s going to have to take her winning ticket to a state lotto office to cash it in.
Think about that for a second.
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Contributed by Piper McGowin of The Daily Sheeple.
Piper writes for The Daily Sheeple. There’s a lot of B.S. out there. Someone has to write about it.