Conspiracy Fact and Theory

It’s April Fool’s Day: Why Not Dress Like a Good Little Sheeple?

It’s April Fool’s, and what better way to show it than to wear a shirt that makes people want to punch you? Okay, that was a joke, but these shirts are not. They exist.

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It’s April Fool’s, and what better way to show it than to wear a shirt that makes people want to punch you?

Okay, that was a joke, but these shirts are not. They exist. Somewhere people are not only spending money to buy these shirts, but they are also wearing them.

In public.

So… who doesn’t [amazon text=love themselves some government torture&asin=B00R37GMYG]?

Speaking of idiots and torture, don’t forget to grab a complimentary [amazon text=I Love Dick Cheney teddy bear&asin=B005CXQD3I], surely the best $35.44 you ever spent.

(…feel sorry for that poor inanimate object…)

Or you could opt for the [amazon text=Bill Clinton Monica Lewinsky shirt of all Bill Clinton Monica Lewinsky shirts&asin=B00L5FXW7C].

We don’t remember him being even remotely that awesome. (Is that an alligator with a bomb strapped to its back?)

Or just show people [amazon text=how much you love his wife with this Hillary 2016 shirt&asin=B00T4NZFOU].

Wait, sorry, wrong shirt, it’s [amazon text=this one&asin=B00JSAH6W8] which you can get in a dozen dazzling colors.

Either way, [amazon text=always be yourself unless you are a Clinton, then always be a Clinton&asin=B00VGSW8DW].

The same people that think this way are the same people that still think Obama is our “[amazon text=peace president&asin=B00KSMM6RA]”.

They probably also [amazon text=blanket statement love all government agents&asin=B00N0FVPGU].

And [amazon text=dress their babies up in little police state costumes&asin=B009DLIW34].

All ready to grow up and start revenue generating for the establishment (and beating people who don’t pay).

And [amazon text=miss George W. Bush&asin=B004084L80] as if he or any of his family or friends (Ted Cruz anyone?) are any better.

The corporatocracy is a club most of us aren’t members of. Might as well just [amazon text=admit what’s really going on here&asin=B002YWMQ36].

Then we could just [amazon text=drink until Congress makes sense&asin=B00M4V3FX2].

Actually, no, we better not do that because we’d probably die of alcohol poisoning first.

It’s beyond a corporatocracy… it’s an [amazon text=ineptocracy&asin=B00AZ5R8VO] and the majority of us just keep voting for it again and again.

How sad but true.

Happy April Fool’s Day, everyone.

And remember!

[amazon text=BECAUSE ‘MERICA!&asin=B00EO4UAWQ]

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