ISIS Suicide Bombing Instructor Blows up Class By Accident: Feel-Good Story of 2014

By Rodney Lee Conover

“Now I can only show you this once…” Who says there’s only bad news in the papers?

In a terrorists training facility just north of Bagdad, an ISIS commander who was teaching 21 trainees how to successfully blow themselves up, apparently is – or should I say ‘was’ – a stickler for details: He blew them all to smithereens by detonating a suicide belt loaded with explosives.

Right about now you’re probably wondering if this were true, who reported the story? I don’t know, but here’s how the Belfast Telegraph reported it:

Raad Hashim, who works at a liquor store near the site of the bombing, burst out laughing. “This is so funny,” he said. “It shows how stupid they are, those dogs and sons of dogs.”

On a more serious note, he added: “It also gives me pain, as I remember all the innocent people that were killed here.”

“This is God showing justice. This is God sending a message to the bad people and the criminals in the world, to tell them to stop the injustice and to bring peace. Evil will not win in the end. It’s always life that wins over death.

Another local told the newspaper: “I heard this today when my friend rang me in the afternoon to tell me about it. He was so happy as if he was getting married, which made me happy as well.

“I hope that their graves burn and all the rest of them burn as well. I was not happy with the number killed, though: I wanted more of them to die, as I remember my friend who was killed by a suicide bomber in 2007.”

A further 15 people were wounded in the explosion, according to police and army officials, which took place at a compound situated in the northeastern Salahuddin Province.

The instructor was not named, but was described to the NYT by an Iraqi Army officer as a prolific recruiter who was “able to kill the bad guys for once.”

Leave it to the Irish to make this warm-hearted – but I love it. Virgins for everybody!