Google’s Ridiculously Lame Official Explanation for Its Secret Barges

Google — or as Glenn Beck referred to it: “a shill for the U.S. government” — the omnipresent internet company that now makes those nifty glasses with facial recognition capabilities you can wear to spy on everyone (or even be spied on yourself)…the company that owns the virtual Earth mapping software Google Earth that used to be called Keyhole when it was funded by the CIA’s In-Q-Tel…the company with the CEO that said, “We know where you are. We know where you’ve been. We can more or less know what you’re thinking about.” …ya know, Google?

Well, apparently the company has several giant floating barges stationed off both U.S. coasts (two off San Francisco, one off Maine and one off Connecticut) and, up until now, Google has been pretty tight-lipped on what these barges are sitting out there for.

Many a theory has been put forth regarding these barges, with a lot more people guessing ‘floating data centers’ than ‘floating theme parks’ or ‘floating art installations’.

Could that be because Google filed a patent in 2007 for a “floating platform-mounted computer data center comprising a plurality of computing units” which was granted in 2009? The first Google barge showed up the following year off the coast of Connecticut, after all.

Well, apparently the company has finally cleared up the mystery on its top secret hush hush barges according to The Register:

Google has shed more light on just what it plans to do with a pair of floating barges off either coast of the US.

The advertising giant told The Register that its two vessels, officially known as Google Barges, will in fact be designed to serve as nautical showrooms for the company’s latest and greatest products.”

But wait, there’s more!

“Although it’s still early days and things may change, we’re exploring using the barge as an interactive space where people can learn about new technology.”

There, see? There’s no big conspiracy here, folks! It’s just a few nautical showrooms.

That’s right! These giant floating barges with what appear to be a large group of antennae on top are merely just an interactive space…you know, where people can…learn…about…new technology….out in the…ocean…

Also, if you are buying that, Google has a pair of super trendy glasses to sell you.