Germany Creates Website to Teach Refugees How to Have Sex

Following the mass sexual assaults in Cologne on New Year’s Eve, the German government released a laughable cartoon, to teach migrants about what kind of behavior is appropriate in their public swimming pools. Here’s a protip for Germany: if someone grows into adulthood without realizing that it’s wrong to sexually harass women, a cartoon isn’t going to change their predilections.

Nonetheless, the German government has released another sex guide for the benefit of migrants. And ‘sex guide’ isn’t a generalization. It’s literally a guide to teach migrants on how to have sex, and is similar to what you might find in a high school sex ed class. The German Health Ministry posted it on their new website, and titled it “Zanzu: My body in words and images,” and it’s available in 12 different languages.

It covers everything from how to use a condom, cleanliness, foreplay, to STDs. It even takes the time to describe male and female genitalia, and goes over various sexual positions. Bizarrely, they tell female migrants that they can give oral sex, but advises them “not to swallow.” They even advise women on how to get involved in the sex trade, which is legal in Germany. And finally, the website informs migrants that porn is okay, female genital mutilation is illegal, and “masturbation is not harmful.” Throughout the text, the guide emphasizes the importance of consent.

Sorry Germany, but the migrants in your country are mostly grown men, and they don’t need to be taught how to have sex. Unfortunately, they already know how to do that.

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