For National Security: The Pentagon Paid $170,000 for a Study Called ‘Walking with Coffee: Why Does It Spill?’

Because we don’t have enough stupid coming from our government, now this.

The Pentagon reportedly spent $170,000 on a study actually titled, ‘Walking with coffee: Why does it spill?’

D’uhhhhhhhhhh because:

If you walk carrying an uncovered cup of coffee, it will probably spill.

ಠ_ಠ

To unravel the great mysteries of this phenomenon, the Pentagon gave $170,000 to researchers at the University of California, Santa Barbara. The grant was made through the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, whose mission is “to make pivotal investments in breakthrough technologies for national security.”

For… national… securi…ty?

In a resultant study entitled, “Walking with coffee: Why does it spill?” the scientists found that “in the walking with coffee problem the motions of the human body, while seemingly regular, are quite complex and are coupled to a coffee cup and liquid therein, which makes it difficult to unravel the precise reasons behind coffee spilling.”

Oh give us all a break already!

We’d be less insulted if the Pentagon would just come out and say, “Look people, we’re siphoning money off the top for black projects that we aren’t going to tell you or Congress about because… uh… national security” than to go to the extremely ridiculous lengths of making up a bs study as idiotic as this one just to suck $170,000 from We the Taxpayers.