Darwin Rolls Over In Grave; Again: USGS Warns ‘Don’t Roast Marshmallows Over Lava’

The United States Geological Survey has had to warn people that they should avoid roasting marshmallows over lava.  In 2018, we have warnings for everything, but some of this stuff feels like it should be a “no-brainer.”

The USGS felt the need to respond to one Twitter user who asked, “Is it safe to roast marshmallows over volcanic vents? Assuming you had a long enough stick, that is? Or would the resulting marshmallows be poisonous?” The USGS was then forced to take a break from giving updates about Hawaii’s Kilauea volcanic eruption to confirm that no, you should not roast marshmallows over the scorching hot volcanic vents.

https://twitter.com/jayfurr/status/1001280299710472192?tfw_site=TIME&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Ftime.com%2F5293693%2Fkilauea-volcano-usgs-marshmallow%2F

Erm…we're going to have to say no, that's not safe. (Please don't try!) If the vent is emitting a lot of SO2 or H2S, they would taste BAD. And if you add sulfuric acid (in vog, for example) to sugar, you get a pretty spectacular reaction.

— USGS Volcanoes? (@USGSVolcanoes) May 29, 2018

Of course, Twitter responded the way only Twitter is capable of:

These are the kind of people that provide job security to 9-1-1 Operators, firefighters, and paramedics.

— ??CofTAS (@TimChgo9) May 29, 2018

But the person who originally asked the question of the USGS implied he was only joking, however, the USGS took it seriously.

pic.twitter.com/1MnwSrJAou

— Larry Leeder (@LarryLeeder1) May 29, 2018

At least this guy appears to have been chiding the USGS.  The kids who ate the Tide Pods, however, actually got very sick.