Cruz Responds to Allegations: “Donald Trump May Be a Rodent, But I Have No Desire to Copulate with Him”

Wow.

Just wow.

Seriously?!

Ted Cruz has now officially responded to the allegations that he cheated on his wife with not one, but five mistresses. And you would think that with the high stakes at this late hour, and the fact that Ted had at least 48 hours to respond, that he would have carefully crafted something that doesn’t make him seem infinitely more creepy.

Nope. You’d be wrong.

Try: “Well let me be clear: Donald Trump may be a rat, but I have no desire to copulate with him.”

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

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