Black Lives Matter Releases Comically Absurd List of Demands

Over the past three years we’ve watched the Black Lives Matter movement grow from a popular twitter hashtag, into a well organized protest group that has chapters all over the United States. The public has watched them evolve from a group with some legitimate grievances, and into a George Soros backed, race baiting monstrosity that is now better known for protests that make a habit of blocking traffic, and obnoxiously yelling over public figures with bull horns.

Of course, the movement isn’t done evolving and metastasizing. They’ve recently crossed a new milestone. BLM has 60 different independent chapters, and for the first time they’ve come together to create a consistent list of demands. Brace yourself, because we’re about to dive head first into crazy town.

If you only took a cursory look at what they want from society, you might notice a few demands that are pretty reasonable. There’s some things in there that a lot of people would like to see change, such as eliminating government surveillance programs, demilitarizing the police, ending private police and private prisons and what not.

But once you really dig into the text, it becomes clear that these people are out of their minds:

• Reparations for the systemic denial of access to high quality educational opportunities in the form of full and free access for all Black people (including undocumented and currently and formerly incarcerated people) to lifetime education including: free access and open admissions to public community colleges and universities, technical education (technology, trade and agricultural), educational support programs, retroactive forgiveness of student loans, and support for lifetime learning programs.
• Reparations for the continued divestment from, discrimination toward and exploitation of our communities in the form of a guaranteed minimum livable income for all Black people, with clearly articulated corporate regulations.
• Reparations for the wealth extracted from our communities through environmental racism, slavery, food apartheid, housing discrimination and racialized capitalism in the form of corporate and government reparations focused on healing ongoing physical and mental trauma, and ensuring our access and control of food sources, housing and land.
• Reparations for the cultural and educational exploitation, erasure, and extraction of our communities in the form of mandated public school curriculums that critically examine the political, economic, and social impacts of colonialism and slavery, and funding to support, build, preserve, and restore cultural assets and sacred sites to ensure the recognition and honoring of our collective struggles and triumphs.
• Legislation at the federal and state level that requires the United States to acknowledge the lasting impacts of slavery, establish and execute a plan to address those impacts. This includes the immediate passage of H.R.40, the “Commission to Study Reparation Proposals for African-Americans Act” or subsequent versions which call for reparations

What? Free college? Guaranteed living wage? And what the hell is food apartheid? I wish I could say that this is the worst of it, but their demands only get crazier from there. In a nutshell, the rest of their demands basically amount to wealth distribution, the socialization of multiple industries, and other vague, childish notions.

Unlike other socialist movements however, there’s a racial angle. That’s the only significant difference. I guess you could say that what they want is kind of like national socialism, but for black people instead of Germans. If I were to sum up their demands, I would say that Black Live Matter More Than Yours is a more apt name for this movement.