Wow: Over a Third of Florida Believes Ted Cruz May Be the Zodiac Killer

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real-ted-cruz
by Jake Anderson

Ahead of the Super Tuesday primaries, there’s a new poll out in Florida and it’s a weirdly morbid one. According to Public Policy Polling, in response to the question “Do you think Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer, or not?,” 10 percent of the Sunshine State says ‘yes.’ 28 percent said they were not sure.

‘Zodiac Killer’ is the name given to an unidentified serial killer who claims to have murdered 37 people in northern California. Police have only confirmed five of these murders but, well, that’s enough to qualify as a serial killer. The Zodiac Killer was also notorious for confounding Bay Area authorities by sending cryptographic letters to the press.

Enduring Freedom

When translated, the cipher reads as follows:

“I LIKE KILLING PEOPLE BECAUSE IT IS SO MUCH FUN IT IS MORE FUN THAN KILLING WILD GAME IN THE FORREST BECAUSE MAN IS THE MOST DANGEROUE ANAMAL OF ALL TO KILL SOMETHING GIVES ME THE MOST THRILLING EXPERENCE IT IS EVEN BETTER THAN GETTING YOUR ROCKS OFF WITH A GIRL THE BEST PART OF IT IS THAE WHEN I DIE I WILL BE REBORN IN PARADICE AND THEI HAVE KILLED WILL BECOME MY SLAVES I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MY NAME BECAUSE YOU WILL TRY TO SLOI DOWN OR ATOP MY COLLECTIOG OF SLAVES FOR MY AFTERLIFE EBEORIETEMETHHPITI”

Admittedly, Ted Cruz is a bit more eloquent. However, with his campaign floundering in the wake of Donald Trump’s meteoric political rise, how telling is it that over a third of the state of Florida isn’t sure whether or not he is an infamous serial killer? Facetious or not, the poll result doesn’t bode well for an evangelical that has already been an online punching bag, as the popular image below illustrates.

Enduring Freedom

Then again, how big of a difference is there really between the sociopathic behavior of a serial killer and the targeted drone killings of a president? Maybe Cruz is the man to unite the previously disparate worlds of serial murder and war crimes.

Test your knowledge with a quiz entitled “Who Said It, A Serial Killer or a US President?”

Enduring Freedom

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  • Adol Hintner

    I think Ted Cruz is Grandpa Munster, he looks like it.

    • jim_robert

      Brilliant comment. So typical of the left. What’s next? You going to stick your tongue out at him?

      • http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/political_reading_room/ disqus_3BrONUAJno

        Why is anyone who doesn’t like a neo-con fascist an automatic leftist?

        • martinbrock

          I don’t have the slightest sympathy for Cruz. I just hate this variety of “journalism”.

          • http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/political_reading_room/ disqus_3BrONUAJno

            Since this is the type of journalism that the editors at The Daily Sheeple seem to like the best, even though it doesn’t serve the stated goal of their website, it is what we will get unless we can change their taste in propaganda.

          • martinbrock

            i followed a link from liberty.me here. i don’t need or want to change Sheeple’s editorial policy. i only need to follow other links in the future.

    • http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/political_reading_room/ disqus_3BrONUAJno

      Ted Cruz looks a lot more like Bill Murray, particularly as his character in Caddyshack, Carl Spackler.

  • Right to the Point

    Just compare the signature to Obama’s if you want to find the Zodiac.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barack_Obama

  • jim_robert

    More low information voters from the left (cf AdofHintern post below)

  • martinbrock

    That’s an extremely underhanded tactic to generate negative buzz about Cruz, really, along the lines of “when did you stop beating your wife?”

    • http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/political_reading_room/ disqus_3BrONUAJno

      That’s true. It is enough for me that he is a self-admitted non-natural born citizen.

      • martinbrock

        The headline is also incredibly misleading. Most of the “not sure” 28 percent have simply never heard of Ted Cruz. They don’t say that Cruz “may be the Zodiac killer”. They say they have no idea who the Zodiac killer is.

        • http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/political_reading_room/ disqus_3BrONUAJno

          Is this the first time that you have noticed that many of The Daily Sheeples’ headlines are poorly indicative of the article’s topic?
          I’ve come to assume that is a extension of a policy that aggregates many articles that don’t serve to wake up the flock.

  • CUZIN ERN

    IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO POISON PEN SOME ONE, DON’T BE SURPRIZED ON THE OUTCOME!!

  • I forgot

    Cruz may very well be a dope, but he’s not old enough to be the Zodiac Killer.