So Bad You’ll Laugh: This Video from Finland on How to Protect Yourself from Rape Is Unintentionally Hilarious

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You are probably going to think this is a joke. I did. “No way would anything this stupid be passed off in seriousness,” I thought.

Then, ever so sadly, I found out that it was. I say “unintentional” because they weren’t kidding here.

Finnish Broadcasting Company, Finland’s public broadcasting channel, released this video on how to protect one’s self from rapists.

Go ahead. Try not to laugh. See if you can help it.

I sure couldn’t.

Here’s a higher resolution of the video from YLE’s official facebook page.


Yes. Because women aren’t legally allowed to really protect themselves in these countries, as was recently highlighted when a Danish teen was fined for pepper spraying a would-be rapist.

Okay, so let’s go over it again…

In order to not be raped according to Finnish police and public broadcasting, women should wear oven mitts in public and practice the Hadoken move from the Street Fighter video games?


Got it.

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  • Reverend Draco

    “In order to not be raped according to Finnish police and public
    broadcasting, women should wear oven mitts in public and practice the
    Hadoken move from the Street Fighter video games?”

    To be fair. . . this is at least as rational and intelligent as any of the other ways to be denied the proper tools with which to defend oneself.

    • Smarty

      She can’t wait to get her (oven) mitts on you Reverend……

      • Reverend Draco



        • Smarty

          Gee Reverend….I had no idea. I don’t know what to say!

          • Reverend Draco

            Ahh. . . didn’t know that – but then, I speak Dragon, not Dinosaur =P

          • Smarty

            Couldn’t resist….it cracked me up! I wasn’t sure what “rawr” might mean, so I had to look it up. So….are you getting me anything special for Valentines Day, Reverend Dino?

          • Reverend Draco

            How about a poke in the eye with a sharp stick? My mom used to say they were pretty good. . .

          • Smarty

            A 1.75 of Smirnoff would be slightly better in my opinion. If not, I’m good. Don’t worry about it…

          • Reverend Draco


          • Smarty

            Cool. I’ll just spend the day with my wife and we’ll forget this ever happened, ok?

    • Tark McCoy

      Luckily for all you rape fans, a wiki sez you can counter:

      The primary use of the Hadoken is to control the horizontal
      playfield: if thrown at the opponent, they will have to block, jump or
      use a special attack to counter. In any case, they will have to act,
      allowing the player throwing the Hadoken to potentially counter.

      Alternatively, the opponent can perform a projectile attack of their own, negating the Hadoken.

      • Reverend Draco

        Never would have thought to look for a Street Fighter wiki. . . I suppose I should have known that one exists. . .

      • Razedbywolvs

        I think you should counter with a Long Island Iced Tea.
        It’s a good way to KO me.

        • Tark McCoy

          Your Kung Fu IS better!

        • doodaa


    • Americaislost

      The best way to stop a rapist is two shots center mass

      • Reverend Draco

        Now, remind the Finns. . .

    • BigGaySteve

      The video stopped before showing how to stop 50 moslems from raping

  • Dan Bronson

    Foreplay is fun.

    • Reverend Draco

      Sixplay is lots of fun. . . for the intended victim.

      1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

  • Smarty

    “Speak to the hand”…..
    Ok. I’m guilty. I laughed my ass off. This is right up there with border guards being told to throw rocks at the taco-Nigerians crossing the border, and school kids being told to throw cans of soup at active shooters (should there ever actually BE a real active shooter that is).

    • Reverend Draco

      “Talk to the hand, the vagina ain’t listening.”

    • Reverend Draco

      “You can take my life. . . but you’ll never take my CAMPBELLLLLLLLLLLSSSSS!”

    • BigGaySteve

      There are women out there that think a 90pound girl can beat up a dozen navy seals because she saw it on TV

  • BasicRules

  • BasicRules

  • Jollyjoke

    GI Jedi Jane, jolly joke!

  • doodaa

    They left out the part……”put a brick in the purse.”

  • AmericanCitizen

    It took Luke Skywalker a month of training on Dagobah to learn how to force push objects, but Finnish women can do it naturally?

    • Reverend Draco

      Didn’t you see Star Wars 7?

      Magickal Vagina Powers give women an inherent mastery of skills that take men up to and including a lifetime to learn.

      • doodaa

        It’s the smell………..of perfume. They shit in public and don’t know what deordorant is.

    • BigGaySteve

      They practice by firing ping pong balls out there vages

  • Blau Punk

    What was that line from Mortal Kombat? ‘Finnish’ him! 😀

  • disqus_q0fJBDaGHm

    You forgot to mention the .357 in the mitt….

  • Maddog

    My wife will be popping a cap in his ass and then two to the chest and one to the head for good measure.

    • Smarty

      You had better always be nice to her..

      • Maddog

        With a pistol, the woman out-shoots me all day long. So that makes me the nicest hubby out there.

  • mike1458

    I kept thinking of Bobby Hill and the let go of my purse episode.

  • h5mind

    “IE means IE!” Once the UK completed the disarmament of their loyal subjects, the police noticed an increase in knife crimes. So naturally, they responded with a plea for people to “surrender their knives for the good of all.” Government logic is just like regular logic, but without the common sense.

    • Reverend Draco

      Government logic is just like regular logic, but without the logic part.

  • MrApple

    So this is European version of “Hands up, Don’t rape”?

  • Smarty

    I didn’t know the “Ov-Glove” was such a great self defense tool …..

  • Mr Reynard

    Are the Finns early for April Fools jokes ??

  • Razedbywolvs

    Some one needs to be beat with a shovel for making this.

  • Sam300

    Muslims are usually in pairs or gangs. Her oven mitt will end up in her mouth to prevent her screams.

    • doodaa

      And her sleaves around her neck.

  • Ben William

    Well, when you grow up in a TV / Movie culture where this nonsense is used by fictional characters, the Tavistock folks feel that society is sufficiently dumbed down to the point where they will actually buy this ridiculous narrative. A young lady I know in FL would completely rewrite this script where she pulls out her .357 and blows the rapist away. But, that’s what people in a ‘FREE’ non mind controlled society would do, and why rapes would be down significantly compared to where ‘oven mitts’ are supposed to stop rapists.

  • frankw

    The Finns should have tried this trick on the Soviets in “39 and saved themselves that messy war

  • Stuck_in_Ca

    That’s not a fair depiction of the average rape victim. Most women aren’t power rangers.

  • Kountry Bumpkin

    You have got to be kidding me, are there no police, military, security, or self defense men in Finland that will offer their women free self defense classes. I’ll even get them started, make a fist and hit them in the throat with all the strength your body has, next kick them in the balls until they make the same sound a raw live when it’s dropped on a hard surface, then run your thumbs down inside the corner of their eyeballs into their eye sockets under their eyes and pry their eyeballs out, grab them an rip them out. Walk to the nearest police station to report that you were attacked.

    • SonsofAnarchy5768

      Yeah, except the people doing the raping over there are with other people or gangs of them, you can fight off maybe one but more then one, that will be a problem~

      • Reverend Draco

        Granted, I’m not a woman. . . but I’m insulted if there are fewer than 5. . . training makes a huge difference.

        • doodaa

          Especially when you have control of 9 rounds. When 2 get shot in the dick……..

          • Reverend Draco

            TRE, man – they gotta watch out for each other. . . anything gets in front of me is a target – I have the advantage.

            A person with even a little hand-to-hand training can taker on 10, 15, or more at once, if they’re not trained to fight as a group.

            Just have to keep moving. . .

      • BigGaySteve

        The best advice I ever got was “if attacked by a pack of blacks keep moving, if you have only ever spared with Asians and whites you have no idea how powerful it is” they are too stupid and get in each others way. Spatial orientation is the part of IQ tests blacks do the worst on.

        • Reverend Draco

          Unless a group of people are trained to fight as a group – they’ll get in each others’ way.

          The lone person has the advantage of a target-rich environment at this point.

  • Gus Grissom

    Apartheid for Israel, rape-prone, low IQ’d 3rd world invaders for America and Europe!

  • Frank Energy

    More disgusted than laughing actually.

  • Kent

    Hit the rapist with your purse? Seems awfully violent. I think every female in Europe should be required to carry a pillow from on. Then they can perform the pillow fight maneuver in case of an attack…

    • Reverend Draco

      Or at least have something to stuff in their mouths to stifle their screams.

    • doodaa

      With a brick in it.

  • bodysonthground

    Gungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungungun 🙂

    • Reverend Draco

      I almost thought you were saying they need to carry Jar Jar Binks around with them. . .

  • mirageseekr

    Do Finnish woman have some kind of x-men abilities that I was unaware of?

  • Reverend Draco

    One of the things I find interesting about the Star Wars universe – no matter who is in charge, Republic or Empire – open carry is quite common.

    Blasters are so random, though. . .

    (you do know that you can edit your post?)

  • Chef Sp

    Shape of…a RETARD!
    Form of….a DOOFUS!!!!
    WHere’s Aquaman when ya need him?

    • Reverend Draco

      He was trampled by a herd of 3rd wave feminists and white knight manginas. . .. . .

  • Nabi

    Perhaps a picture of Mo porking a pig on the gloves and yelling “Oink!” would be more effective?

    • Reverend Draco

      If it stopped you. . . sure, let’s try it.

  • Reverend Wingnut

    “BANG!!” Next…

  • Reverend Draco

    I gotta tell ya. . . if you can make someone attacking you think that you’re an absolute psychotic mess and will eat their face off. . . they’ll leave you alone.

    Seems that people are afraid of crazy people.

    Some American Indians are correct.

  • D.Moore

    Does she have super powers? F’g stupid, carry a knife, slit a potential rapist throat, then get arrested but never refuse to protect yourself. My right to life gives me the right to protect myself with whatever I can get my hands on at the time of assault.