Pastor Tries To Walk On Water Like Jesus, But Gets Eaten By Crocodiles Instead

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Top Tier Gear USA

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A pastor in Zimbabwe was eaten by crocodiles when he decided to emulate Jesus, and attempt to walk on water. The pastor was trying to recreate the infamous biblical legend, which has been called a miracle by some, but his choice of waterways led to his demise.

According to Zimbabwe Today, Jonathan Mthethwa with the Saint of the Last Days Church attempted to perform the feat in a water body nicknamed “Crocodile River.” The river is widely known for its infestation with the deadly reptiles. Witnesses said Mthethwa made it 100 feet before crocodiles viciously attacked the man. The pastor had walked out into the water and was attempting to rise from it when he was brutally attacked.

Deacon Nkosi, a church member, reportedly said, “They finished him in a couple of minutes. All that was left of him when they finished eating him is a pair of sandals and his underwear floating above the water.” Nkosi then said, “We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week.” But the crocodiles made it obvious that they didn’t care much about the fasting beforehand. Emergency crews were on the scene within 30 of the initial attack, but it was all over by then. All they found was the single sandal and the underwear.

Before attempting the feat, Mthethwa brought his congregation to the river to witness his attempts to walk on water. Horrified members of the Saint of the Last Days Church said the pastor was completely devoured in a “couple of minutes”.

“The pastor taught us about faith on Sunday last week. He promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he, unfortunately, ended up drowning and getting eaten by 3 large crocodiles in front of us,” said Deacon Nkosi.

It only took three crocodiles less than five minutes to completely consume a full grown man. But crocodile attacks happen often in Zimbabwe. Efforts have even been taken to reduce the number of crocodiles in certain waterways to protect people.

A police spokesman said, “This year we had too much rains and it is obvious crocodiles are certainly there in our rivers. Villagers should not risk their lives by swimming or trying to cross the flooded rivers.” It seems like common sense – to not try to walk on water in crocodile infested rivers. Tempting fate certainly isn’t for the faint of heart. Or those afraid of death.

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  • Mike

    Darwin award.

  • Ken, Megapolis

    I have faith. I am not a preacher but this is my plan:-
    I will send Trump into the water 1st. The president will then proceed to drain the swamp. Imagine him grabbing each crocodile in turn by the tail, swinging the beast round and hurling the unlucky creature hard against the dry bank wall opposite. I only hope the President’s hair does not get too ruffled in the process LOL. Once he’s finished he is gasping for breath but gives a nod and thumbs up sign for me to enter the water next.
    Wish me luck.

    • Phil_Ossifer

      Even Moses could only part the Red Sea, not drain it.

  • jamesgwolfe

    This happened because god is imaginary and has never intervened or answered one prayer. Those who claim he answered their prayer simply pulled the winning lottery number== time and chance. Accept it.

    • I have to agree with the notion that this world is nothing but a series of mathematical functions and phenomenons occurring at set intervals and working with each other to generate the world we know today.

      • BR549

        And what if, like chaos theory, all your explanations were merely a way to systematize that part of nature’s processes that you don’t yet understand. In the end, chaos theory doesn’t connect the dots either.

        I’m not meaning to sound arrogant here, but it sounds more to me as though the reason you and James are foundering in a large dark ocean is because you aren’t ready to “get it” just yet. When you do “get it”, you’ll be learning how to do the back stroke very quickly.

        BTW, this has little to do with religion.

        • How does one “get it?” What is this truth to the universe that we have yet to grasp? What is to say that your version of the truth is any more factual or objective than mine?

          • Phil_Ossifer

            “We are here and it is now. Beyond that, all human knowledge is moonshine.” – H.L. Mencken

          • I would argue that this is a reductionist way of looking at the scope of knowledge and the growth of human cognition since it does not account for evolution or human innovations. It also assumes that neither the past nor future matter in the development of knowledge, which in itself is a fallacy.

      • junktex

        You should study cell physiology.

        • I actually did during the 9th grade in my Biology class. Ironically, I could probably remember most of the cell organs and their functions. It wouldn’t help refreshing though. 🙂

    • Eskimo man

      This happened because they follow a false religion which is not of God, you have to be with God in the one and only true religion to get miracles to happen. What is in your imagination is that there could be no God, when common sense tells us that there has to be one. Everything cannot create itself from nothing, and come from nowhere. The science tells us that no God is impossible, just like magic where everything comes from nowhere.

    • Vig orniensis

      James G Wolfe I will pray for your soul and pray also that you will one day open your eyes to see the magnificent world we have that could never have just happened by chance. Have you heard of multiple complex cell growth. Well that was the trigger for our world. Never seen on any other planet and never will be unless God wills it.

  • ReverendDraco✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ᵃᶜᶜᵒᵘᶰᵗ

    Here we have a classic example of faith vs objective reality.

    He’d have had just a good a chance had he wished on a ring or an oil lamp.

    Science, bitches!

    • Is this really appropriate?

      • ReverendDraco✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ᵃᶜᶜᵒᵘᶰᵗ

        Yes.

        • Show some fucking respect. Just because this priest attempted to walk on water doesn’t mean that you should just readily dismiss faith and use this to purport that an objective reality is inherently “better.”

  • Pierce

    Oh the delicious irony. All that was left was a sandal and his underwear – which were likely freshly soiled.

    • Glyn Davies

      Follow the Sandal…

  • Time Will Tell

    Yeah God saved him alright… From slandering his good name any further !

  • USARSUPTHAI

    Stupid is as stupid does!

  • Clementine

    This is the level to which people are delusional these days…
    “We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week.”
    HAHAHAHAHA! WOW!

    • Oingo Boingo

      Dindu logic.

  • endofwatchersbegan1/28/2011

    There are those that dare to compare themselves to apostles and Jesus.

  • elvirah scarface

    Iodiocy at its’ finest. 🐊🐊🐊👤👤👟

  • NonYo Business

    God works in mysterious ways… Crocodiles, not so much.

  • Dean Woodlief

    Dumbass Award of the year …..so far

  • John C Carleton

    He just had his attention on the wrong impetus.

    ‘Jesus, Perter and I walked on Water’
    http://www.johnccarleton.org/BLOGGER/2017/05/13/jesus-peter-and-i-walked-on-water/

  • These comments make me sick.

    • Bill L

      No fear of GOD. They don’t know they are one heartbeat and one breath from the pit. They are all laughing and mocking their way to hell, and loving it.

  • Edwin Korver

    Guess he chose part of the river where the crocodiles were atheists.

  • A CATAL

    Maybe Jehovah’s Witnesses, Watchtower and the governor body should try it too, if they think their religion is true.

  • Bill L

    You shall not tempt the LORD YOUR GOD.
    Deuteronomy 6:16, Matthew 4:7.
    Be not deceived, GOD is not mocked.: for whatsoever a man soweth, he shall also reap. For he that soweth to the flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the SPIRIT shall of the SPIRIT reap life everlasting. Galatians 6:7,8.

    This guy was more filled with pride than the HOLY SPIRIT and paid for it with his life.
    Whenever you put yourself outside of the will of GOD, HE is not obliged to rescue you.

  • Edwin Korver

    Meanwhile, as the pastor was about to enter the water, the crocodiles were huddled below feverishly praying: “Lord, please let someone be foolish enough here to try to walk on water, please Lord! We will even take someone who has fasted for a week.”

  • Rayven Wrathchild

    Do not tempt thy imagined God. He answers to no one.
    Must have been God’s will -lol.

  • Larry

    Guess Bubba didn’t have enough faith! Tisk, tisk, tisk !

  • Phil_Ossifer

    There’s an old story about some white kids in Africa who were walking along a riverbank when they decided to take a swim. A couple of tribesmen came along and warned the kids that the river was infested with crocs. The kids replied, “That’s okay, we’re with the Peace Corps.” As another old story goes, even Jesus fled from the fool, saying, “I can make the blind see, I can heal the leper but I cannot turn the fool from his folly.”

  • CCblogging

    Stupid man. There is only one Jesus.

  • Eskimo man

    You must be religious. Billions of years? Evolution? WTF?

  • Wayright2

    Preacher must have watched James Bond do it.

  • Tatiana Covington

    Pretty funny!

  • GnosticPistisSophia

    I was eater by crocodiles once but got better..

  • junktex

    Thou shall not tempt the Lord thy God

  • Synickel

    Perfect object lesson showing the difference between “faith” and “presumption.” God doesn’t honor presumptive faith of people trying to perform mindless tricks in His name.