Let Frozen Iguanas Lie: Floridians Attacked by Newly-Thawed Reptiles

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Top Tier Gear USA

iguanas

The recent cold snap in Florida has led to multiple reports of frozen iguanas falling from their perches. However bad you might feel for the frigid critters, it’s definitely not a good idea to pick them up.

Something of an iguanapocalypse is happening in South Florida as the state experiences unseasonably cold temperatures. Iguanas can be ‘cold stunned’ if temperatures drop below 45 degrees Fahrenheit (seven degrees Celsius), becoming immobilized and entering something of a cold-coma. This week it dropped as low as 38 degrees in Palm Beach.

Some good Samaritans have taken it upon themselves to dispose of iguana corpses that have fallen from surrounding trees overnight, only to learn that they’re not actually dead and, it appears, are in fact quite feisty when they awake from their slumber.

One man in Key Biscayne, a town south of Miami Beach, learned this lesson the hard way when he collected a bunch of gray, stone-cold, iguanas that had fallen from a stretch of trees, loading them into his vehicle.

Soon after, the seemingly ‘dead’ iguanas came to life in the now warmed up vehicle and attacked the driver, according to wildlife expert Ron Magill, who recounted the incident on NPR.

Apparently, iguanas under 2-feet (60 cm) in length are usually too small to withstand the freezing and thawing process, but in general, larger iguanas are more likely to survive without any lasting ill effects.

It seems it’s not the first time Floridians have fallen into the iguana’s pseudocide trap. In January 2010, South Florida experienced nearly two weeks where temperatures fluctuated in the 30 to 40-degree range, according to the the Palm Beach Post.

In 2010 when the frozen iguanas began to fall a friend’s neighbor collected a huge black plastic garbage bag of them and when the bag was placed in his car to be taken to dump, the great iguana thawing occurred in his moving vehicle. He was not happy,” wrote local microbiologist Larry Lynam on Twitter.

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  • idontknow

    Here lizard lizard lizard….

    • ReverendDraco✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ᵃᶜᶜᵒᵘᶰᵗ

      I think I’m going to need a bigger box. . .

  • elbustaroyjetspeekerson

    Still unable to corroborate this w/ any accuracy, but supposedly kangaroos are dying “in the millions” Down Under…..and, frozen sharks are washing up on New England shores. Yup, that proves it: Global Warming MUST be real. ROIGHT.

    • Cynical Old Bastard

      Um… It’s summer down under. From reports from friends down there it”s quite warm. There’s the veracity.

      Another point, if sharks are freezing in water is which above freezing… Well… You get the picture.

    • dav1bg

      The Kangaroos are dying in Australia because Monsanto developed a strain of wheat that incorporates the Ebola virus which kills them. They have been deemed a nuance and therefore must be killed. Last year the Frankenstein wheat killed almost 50% of the various Kangaroo varieties there. They are so toxic that carrion will not eat them so they have to just rot into the ground.

      • elbustaroyjetspeekerson

        Jeezus. Thanks D, I think. Might have you a link I can send on to peeps that I know will be interested?

  • Cynical Old Bastard

    Iguanas are very good eating. Very, very good.

    • Dooley Knoted

      Pollo de arbour.😎

      • Cynical Old Bastard

        Absolutemente! Son sabarosas.. Mejor.

        Now you have me drooling. Better than chicken. My ex (may she burn in hell) used to do them in coconut milk gravy over rice. Oopfff.

    • Nimadan

      Which is exactly the solution to the Great Iguana Scare in Gringo-Florida.
      You notice you never hear latinos freaking out about iguanas? Because
      they know what to do with them…

      • Cynical Old Bastard

        Hey! I’m a gringo!

      • WhiteEagle

        The Snow-birds and other retirees are not used to it raining iguanas.

    • ReverendDraco✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ᵃᶜᶜᵒᵘᶰᵗ

  • Otis Donkey

    under Darwin’s law of survival of the fittest, the weak are weeded out. Why do (some) humans insist on interfering with this? There’s probably an overpopulation problem. Yeah, let’s revive them so they starve to death later.

  • Wally

    Next thing will be that big pharma will send someone down there to collect them.
    They will kill them, cut them up and do research to find out what gene allows them to freeze and still live. Cryo chambers anyone?