How Chronic Couch Preppers Can Look Good Naked Again
February 18th, 2013
Reader Views: 1,014
By Todd Walker
In the not so distant past, mirrors were my arch-enemy. Iâd talk myself into believing that the shirt hid my love handles. The Dirt Road Girl must have used a shrinking agent in the laundry. Wait a minute! That doesnât explain my leather belt shrinking. Hum. Whatâs up with that?!
I had become a chronic couch prepper. I was carrying 50 more pounds than my once athletic frame was intended to haul. In my delusional mind, I figured on summoning super-hero strength if the time came for me to hump my 40 pound bug-out-bag plus an extra 50 pounds of self-indulgent body fat. Pulling myself up by the bootstraps in a SHTF scenario or emergency situation has itâs time and place. What do I do when merely reaching for my boot straps is exhausting?
If youâve followed my journey any length of time, youâve heard me talk about my primal/paleoÂ lifestyle. Itâs not some fad diet. Itâs a lifestyle of making choices and taking your health and fitness into your own hands. I canât imagine that preparedness minded people would not embrace this lifestyle. Going into any emergency, natural or man-made, optimal health and fitness might give you the edge in survival. The people who depend on you canât if youâre a chronic couch prepper.
If you stumbled upon this site and arenât into preparedness, self-reliance, and resilience, but are looking for a solution to the dieting dungeon and want to experience real long-term health and fitness, youâre in the right place.
The benefits of going primal
Since going primal in February 2010, Iâve lost the aching joints, irritated bowel, sugar cravings, and 50 pounds. Iâve gained confidence in my physical abilities, muscle mass, increased energy levels, new appreciation for play, and a lifestyle of healthy living. An added bonus is I look good naked again â according to Dirt Road GirlÂ Â Vanity? Not really. It just goes with the territory of a primal lifestyle.
Do you have to follow the primal lifestyle to be physically fit? No. Itâs the path Iâve followed and highly recommend for those who have tried âeverythingâ.
Prisoner of the Pyramid
The real Zombie Food Pyramid is the USDA Food Pyramid
Nutrition is key to a healthy lifestyle. Following conventional wisdom on nutrition was a big fail for me and millions of Americans. I have two degrees in Health and Physical Education. In those six years, I was schooled to follow the conventional wisdom of eating mostly carbs mixed with a little fat and protein. Great plan if you value chronic health problems, fatigue, and dying. Following the misinformation put out by our benevolent government (corporate-driven USDA food pyramid) will only help you remain a chronic couch prepper. Why would they do that? Follow the money. Iâve chosen to abandon willful ignorance and take control of my own life. Self-reliance and preparedness starts within you.
Flip the pyramid upside down and start over. EatÂ no grains, or grain based meals for one month. Hold on there pilgrim! All preppers know that storing grain in 5 gallon buckets is the way to survive TEOTWAWKI. Again, think like a hunter/gatherer. Destroy the old conventional paradigm. I know this will offend and even anger traditional/conventional preparedness folks. Iâm no expert on nutrition, I just know what worked for me. All Iâm asking is that you take theÂ challenge for one month. Break free from the conventional wisdom and give it a chance.
The Cavemanâs Gym
What wouldÂ GrokÂ do? Short and intense is better than long and grueling. Iâve had friends join me on my work outs. They are very simple and minimalist. No gym membership, long hours, expensive equipment, or boring stuff. Hereâs some of the âgymâ equipment I use.
- My body weight for pullÂ ups, push ups, lunges, and squats.
- Rocks for throwing and lifting.
- Fallen trees, broken into manageable pieces, are used for weighted squats and balance.
- Sledge hammer swung at old tires. I also do Shovelglove. Never heard of it. ClickÂ hereÂ to check it out. Splitting wood with a sledgehammer, wedge, and axe are great full body movement creating functional fitness.
- Donât discount children and grandchildren. I hoist my grandson on my shoulders (40 pounds) every time he comes over and we do our walk. Well, he rides and giggles. I walk.
- 7 gallon water containers. Grab two that are full to perform killer lunge sets. I donât do many with that weight. Work up to heavier weight with two gallon jugs of water or other object with a handle.
- Sprint as fast as you can every 7 to 10 days. This is all out effort whether you bike, run, or swim. My sprint sessions only last about 10 minutes. Long slow distance only leads to stress related injuries (chronic cardio)âŠespecially in shoes.
- Tree climbing. Iâm not talking about with a deer climbing stand either. Get over your domesticated workout and go wild!
- HereâsÂ another wild workoutÂ I posted that you may find helpful.
Functional fitness for SHTF
Specialization is for insects. âTime to go to the gym,â my buddy moaned. He can bench press 400 pounds but can barely squeak out a pull up. In any survival situation, versatility will be the key to not becoming room temperature. If he and I were hiking and had to climb a tree to escape a charging wild boar, he might be out of luck. Ever watch a dog âexercisingâ outside? He doesnât run in a boring circles. He mixes it up with jumping, sprinting, sparing, playing, with an occasional stop to pee on bushes. Animals move without monotony. Movement is survival.
Wild animals depend on their ability to move to survive. The odds of us having to sprint to the nearest tree to outrun a wild beast is small. WTSHTF itâs the two-legged predators Iâm worried about. Knowing we could escape a dangerous encounter is rewarding. More practically, could I carry my wife or children to safety if called upon? Our fitness level should be well-rounded. Weâve got to be strong to be useful.
Here are a few resources I recommend to get you into the wild and moving naturally.
If youâre wondering what moving naturally means for human beings, think of human species-specific movement aptitudes. Visualize how the human animal would move in nature for his survival â that is natural human movement.
âArenât there more natural ways to move naturally than just running?â
Human beings possessÂ locomotiveÂ skills such as 1) walking, 2) running, 3) jumping, 4) balancing, 5) crawling, 6) climbing, or 7) swimming.
In addition to locomotive skills, human beings also utilizemanipulativeÂ skills such as 8) lifting, 9) carrying, 10) throwing, and 11) catching, and 12) throwing andcombativeÂ skills, such as 13) striking or grappling.
2)Â Markâs Daily Apple. Reprogram your genes for effortless weight-loss, vibrant health and boundless energy.
3)Â The Paleo Solution. Revolutionary solutions to modern life.
4)Â Free The Animal. Richard Nikoleyâs quest to live a primal/paleo lifestyle.
If youâre sick and tired of being sick and tired when it comes to your workout, give these suggestions a try.
Youâre turn. Whatâs been your exercise regiment? â I hate that word. Itâs so hard to keep up with a regiment. Share your wild functional workout with us.
NOTE: A recent email conversation withÂ Daisy LutherÂ got us both thinking about the importance of fitness and health for survival. Over the next few weeks Iâll be putting together a more detailed series on functional fitness, healthy living, and unconventional advice for those following a preparedness and self-sustainable lifestyle.
Got anything in particular that youâd like to hear discussed?
Delivered by The Daily Sheeple
Contributed by Todd Walker of Survival Sherpa.
Todd Walker is married to the lovely Dirt Road Girl, proud father and grandfather, a government school teacher, a lover of the primal lifestyle and liberty. You can check out his website at Survival Sherpa with a vision of helping each other on the climb to self-reliance and preparedness…the Survival Sherpa way…One step at a time. Follow him on Twitter. Send him mail: email@example.com
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