Just when you think Google (read: our real-life Skynet) can’t get any creepier, they go and aspire.
Now the megacorporation has patented a fun new toy that comes complete with hidden microphones and cameras, spies on your child’s activities and conversations, responds to his or her social cues, and can control smart devices in your home.
The patent abstract says:
An anthropomorphic device, perhaps in the form factor of a doll or toy, may be configured to control one or more media devices. Upon reception or a detection of a social cue, such as movement and/or spoken word or phrase, the anthropomorphic device may aim its gaze at the source of the social cue. In response to receiving a voice command, the anthropomorphic device may interpret the voice command and map it to a media device command. Then, the anthropomorphic device may transmit the media device command to a media device, instructing the media device to change state.
Let’s see… hidden microphones, hidden cameras, facial and voice recognition, motion detection… the only thing missing from this “toy” is an iris scanner and a DNA reader. (Of course, that’s probably coming soon enough…)
No need to worry about police state spying when you’re busy teaching your child how to spy on himself in about ten different ways.
The word “anthropomorphic” used so many times in conjunction with smart devices that interact with your children (with or without their knowledge) based on social cues and then command things in your home is pretty high on the creep scale, and that’s before Google is even factored into it.
But even this isn’t the creepiest part.
The creepiest part is the drawings included in the patent.
Looks like a rip roaring fun time conditioning your child to entrust himself, his life, and even his social cues to the coming Internet of Things on the big brother smart grid, doesn’t it? Gotta love a world where an anthropomorphic bunny filled with spy devices can control your TV based on your child’s movement.
Considering the goal these days appears to be absolute technocratic control cradle-to-grave, this makes total (but horrifying) sense…
(On a side note, ever feel like you were born in the wrong time period?)
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