Fox News Anchor Sues for “Emotional Damage” over Toy She Thinks Looks Like Her

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HarrisFaulkner-Idiot
Harris Faulkner – the reporter VS Harris Faulkner – the plastic hamster: Can you tell which is which?

Stop. Take a deep breath…Okay, are you sitting down? What you are about to read is real — far too real. For the sake of humanity, I would love to tell you that the following paragraphs were constructed as satire meant to mock a mainstream mouthpiece who regurgitates a corporate agenda for a living. Sadly, this story isn’t satire.

One topic both the right and left have begun to exceedingly agree upon in recent years is that anchors, pundits, and the various players in “oldstream” media are no more to be trusted than a man adorned with a pencil thin mustache, top hat, flowing cape, and a nagging habit with which to tie genteel damsels up to train tracks. No matter who you think is the most vitriolic newsperson today, when it comes to pure absurdity, one Fox News anchor has recently surpassed the insanity of her colleagues and officially jumped the shark.

Harris Faulkner, co-host of Outnumbered on Fox News and anchor of Fox Report Weekend, is suing toy manufacturer Hasbro for five million dollars because she claims a plastic hamster in the Littlest Pet Shop line they produce infringes on her likeness.

The lawsuit, which was filed in a New Jersey district court, is claiming  Harris has suffered “commercial and emotional damage” over the children’s toy.

The name given to the little canary colored inanimate rodent by Hasbro designers is in fact Harris Faulkner, but that is where the similarities end — at least to anyone with a functioning brain.

As for Faulkner and her legal team, they believe — according to court documents — that the harmless toy bears a “physical resemblance” to the award-winning journalist, specifically its complexion, make-up design, and eye shape.

While no one at the Anti-Media can either confirm or deny that the Fox news anchor is constructed of plastic, she certainly is not yellow with gigantic blue eyes…or a hamster with a butterfly in her hair.

It would also appear that Mrs. Faulkner believes she is the only person on the planet legally allowed to posses her name.

Her lawyers state: “Harris Faulkner, the uniquely named, acclaimed veteran journalist and author, has worked for decades to establish and maintain her personal brand and laudable professional reputation.”

“(Hasbro) willfully and wrongfully appropriated Faulkner’s unique and valuable name and distinctive persona for its own financial gain,” they added.

The suit also claims the television host is “extremely distressed” due to the “choking hazard” risk the toy bearing her namesake poses to children.

Hasbro has pulled the toy from its online store, but the product is still available to purchase on various other websites.

The silver lining is that if you’ve been in search of information regarding world affairs delivered by a news anchor who also thinks she is a hamster, you need look no further.

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Contributed by SM Gibson of The Anti Media.

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  • Robert Raulerson

    harris Faulkner is hot

    • Armageddon

      Yea, pretty little toy! Oh, wait… were you talking about the hamster face?

    • Razedbywolvs

      Her skin looks like it is made out of a Pleather couch.
      Her hair looks like it’s going to take out the Fukushima reactor.
      Her eyebrows look like there tattooed on.
      Overall she looks like a Michael Jackson after he turned white… You know what I mean.
      Plastic women look good in porn, but wen your attracted to plastic women you should switch to watching classic porn. Because they are mentally ill and you really don’t want to attract them.

      • The hottest ones are usually the shallowest.

        • jaguar

          Hot?! Take of the makeup and you have a scary looking chimp !

          • Oh I was NOT talking about THAT woman, lol! Rather my experiences in life…
            ♫There’s lots of pretty, pretty ones
            Who want to get you high
            But all the pretty, pretty ones
            Will leave you low and blow your mind
            ♫ (Marilyn Manson – Dope Show Lyrics | MetroLyrics)
            = my life for a bit, I was one of them and that is why he says this, it is absolutely true.

      • jaguar

        She looks like a transgender male!!! She probably will win this lawsuit ! That’s how stupid and crazy the leftists are!!!

    • Mr Reynard

      You’re welcome to her !

  • BW83

    The 7th paragraph alone makes this article worth the read lol

  • Mike

    Cause ya know, all the cool kids playing with my little pet shop all watch Fox News to say my hamster is named after her!

  • Reverend Draco

    Ahh – she must be one of those “Otherkin” I’ve been hearing about – identifies as a plastic hamster.

    I wonder if her health care plan covers the surgery she needs in order to “live her truth?”

  • Guillotine_ready

    That does it, humanity has officially failed as a species.

  • SKIP

    I wonder where her WHITE relative is, she certainly has White blood in her.

    • Razedbywolvs

      There must have been a Cracker in her mothers woodpile.

      • lol, good one!

      • SKIP

        hahaha yup! good one.

      • jaguar

        It’s a transgender people! That’s a crazy man!!

  • Pippiagain

    Certifiably nuts!

  • Maybe they should have gone all out and just made a plastic fox..

    • BW83

      Were I the president of Hasbro I’d have them make an exact replica of her and call it Barbara Walters, just to rub it in. I’ve been told I can be a bit of an asshole though lol

      • Ok now THATS funny..

      • SKIP

        Asshole is a big club BW83 lol

        • BW83

          I’m running for president when we have our next annual meeting lol

  • Mr Reynard

    The toy is better looking ! She should feel proud to be looking as good as the toy , but she’s not !

  • I hear the butterfly in her hair is named Rupert Murdoch

  • mayday911us.

    Well I can understand showing over the use of the name Without authorization.

    But I’m sorry I don’t see any likeness.

    • Sailor Uranus

      Names mean nothing hundreds of people share the same names and that news anchor needs to go see an optometrist to get her eyes checked. Seriously copyright lunacy like this puts everyone at risk where someone can sue someone because they think some stuffed animal looks like them shows us just how flawed copyright law really is in fact its akin to George Orwell 1984 thought crime legislation.

    • Osamabeenscrewed

      I agree. There is no likeness between the toy and her, but why the same name?

  • sunshine

    But why does it have the same name as her? Seems pretty intentional to me. It’s not like her name is Jane Smith or something else super bland and common. It would be interesting to know more about it, if it’s some asshole with a grudge against her or something naming that toy…seems really dumb and weird but this world is dumb and weird lol.

    • Maybe if she didn’t have a strange name, she wouldn’t have these problems. Why do so many of our media people have such strange names? Of all of the places where pseudonyms are common…?

    • Sailor Uranus

      Who cares what her name is theirs people named Micky Mouse and Kal El running around these days. That said copyright law is George Orwell 1984 thought crime tyranny and anyone who thinks its not is as ignorant as that lady thinking that toy looks like her.

      • sunshine

        Well yeah but it seems like a weird name for a kid’s toy, that’s all. Not saying her lawsuit is legitimate but it’s just strange!! And yeah a hamster and a person don’t really favor each other lol.

        Is there really a Sailor Uranus?? Hahaha!

        • Sailor Uranus

          Well lets just say I’m more than happy that people know about my future abilities 🙂

  • If there is a toy that looks like her, it is more likely to be Doc McStuffins, which, at least, shares her skin tone and facial features more than a hamster could. As to intelligence, the hamster would probably win if it had a brain.

  • Anonymous1

    Why? Because it has eyes, a nose and a mouth?

  • Daddy! Daddy! Look at all those little things running around the kitchen and leaving droppings on the floor. What can we do? Don;t worry dear they are just little lefties (mice as Stalin would say) and those are comments called intelligence in their nest somewhere. Be still and they’ll move on to someone else. Harris is a sweetheart if anyone ever followed here. Let Hasbro use your full names and see how you feel. eg……dick, dumb, dumber skank …etc.

  • cmb

    I don’t believe this article

    • I don’t believe over 50% of the articles

      • Wags71

        It’s so exhausting to find the truth about anything. Wouldn’t it be nice to have at least one source of the truth you can trust even if it’s just for a few issues?

        • Yep, still searching… lol! Small/independent blogs are the best IMO but you are at the mercy of the judgement/intelligence of the blogger which could be good or bad. Here is a good one with true stuff: https://edwardmd.wordpress.com/about/ – it is a rare find though.

          • Wags71

            I’ll check that out, thanks. My go-to guy is Jon Rappoport. https://jonrappoport.wordpress.com/ I’m actually considering ordering some of his Matrix stuff. He especially nails the vaccine stuff in a way that is unarguable. And he also calls out how news anchors invent a fake reality for most of the world.

            Part of me thinks that most of these ‘alternative’ media blogs are controlled opposition and that the conspiracy is so far beyond and so much greater than what most people think.

            BTW, I’ve had so many posts removed from NN. Every single one of them mentioned “controlled opposition” or was making fun of the ridiculous republican articles on there by pointing out that no republicans are anti-vaccine or anti-GMO, the two issues that got me to NN in the first place. You can see every deleted post in your disqus profile.

          • Oh yes, mine is full of “Detected as Spam” or “Removed” posts. That’s why I post here, nice mix of articles + freedom to comment and say anything and no moderation that NN lied about and said they cannot do anything about it, “it is a disqus thing that they have no control over…” yeah… right. They always talk about the evil nazis but never bring up the mass-murdering communists with an exponentially higher body count and THAT right there is highly suspicious and makes me tag them as controlled opposition. I post there for other peoples’ benefit, not my own. There are some semi-awake people over there but they don’t know much so I say things to (try to)get them thinking.

            I do like Jon’s stuff though, he seems not bought off but I always keep my guard up.

            NN is just another gatekeeper of the message. The MSM has lost its audience so if they don’t control alt. news then they lose control of the message… well, they now control most alt. news so around and around we keep going…

          • Osamabeenscrewed

            The Internet is an excellent source of information. Unfortunately just like the television networks and newspapers it is being used to tell lies at times.

          • Yes, I have gotten more good out of it than bad(I think).

          • Wags71

            I’m not sure. Part of me wants to pull a Henry David Thoreau and move into a cardboard box in the woods. I’d probably find the real truth there.

          • Me too, that’s a feeling that I struggle with every day also.

        • BTW, sorry about saying I was going to get the encryption set up then didn’t… I had 6 windows 8 laptops to downgrade and I ran into a problem, a bug, that cost me 16 hours to figure out which caused the other work to be pushed back and cost me my entire labor day weekend “break.” Hey, I learned how to quickly fix a nasty installation bug now… and get this… the solution was a hack! The OFFICIAL solution… a hack! Microshit got me again!

          • Wags71

            Haha, no worries! I’m probably going to finally make the switch to linux soon when I get around to it. Windows 10 works pretty well but the privacy shit is absurd. I see why they offered it for free. I have tape over my microphones now. Already had my webcams covered.

          • I got a terrible email last week: Help! I upgraded to windows 10 and now my printer doesn’t work! It was frustrating to work on but I am going to put in on a virtual machine and use it periodically just so I can service calls like that one but if it wasn’t my profession I wouldn’t even bother. I just had to remove windows update KB3035583 to get that damn windows 10 icon out of my system tray. Microshit made it a mandatory update so if you don’t hide it, it keeps coming back like a virus!
            Man I don’t know I’d probably uninstall the drivers to the mic and webcam and even then I would be on guard. There were rumors of a keylogger built into it! Be careful!

          • Wags71

            Also, don’t use Chrome and do use uBlock and Privacy Badger. Privacy Badger blocks trackers. Now you made me move up my conversion to Linux. lol

          • I am doing the same… I bet many are.

          • Wags71

            Thanks, will check those out. uBlock is just a better version of AdBlockPlus.

          • I am using it now with iron portable browser. It seems unintrusive and has a great analyzer, I like it.

          • Wags71

            Completely unrelated – maybe you want to try vaping mugwort to see if it can stimulate your pineal gland. Supposed to give you crazy lucid dreams. What’s interesting is that they have “you may also be interested in DMT” at the bottom of this article:

            http://www.smokableherbs.com/mugwort/

            I just ordered a bunch of herbs to try out from here:

            https://www.mountainroseherbs.com

          • Thanks man! I’m copying that! Great info, I don’t know about any of that stuff.

          • Wags71
          • Wags71

            BTW, I found mugwort at Whole Foods yesterday and tried it out last night. (along with about 2g of valerian root in pill form). Wow. It’s a little fuzzy now, but I do remember having a dream within a dream. And it was such a relaxing sleep.

            It wasn’t an astral dream though, so I need to keep trying.

          • That stuff you sent me has really captured my interest, thanks for the info. You can buy a san pedro cactus = legally available mescaline. I am interested in the dreaming thing though being that I don’t dream or don;t remember anymore.

          • Wags71

            I did vape quite a bit of it. But then again, I drank quite a bit of vodka also so that may have countered it.

          • Alcohol is opposite of all of that stuff, it will ruin sleep patterns for days after consumption so it will probably overpower any positive effects from the other stuff but I don’t know for sure. I don’t drink that often because of that effect on quality of sleep.

          • Wags71

            It’s definitely not drastic like cannabis, so I wouldn’t expect miracles.

          • Get a hold of some momosa hostillas, you can extract DMT from that easily for cheap. Vape DMT and you can expect miracles, lol! A small hit twisted my world up, that stuff is no joke, lol.

          • arahn

            I usually physically disconnect the mic even if it requires opening it up and snipping the mic wire. If there’s a built in camera I just move one of the stick-on labels to cover the camera. Very low-tech solutions.

  • I just laid a turd – looks just like her.

  • Bubba T

    This ridiculous filing should be tossed out but it likely won’t because she’s black and a minor celebrity.

  • Sailor Uranus

    This is absolute insanity I sure the heck wouldn’t have pulled the toy which looks as much as common with her as a lion does with a giraffe. This right here is proof that we need to abolish copyright laws before humanity drives itself back into the dark ages of ignorance.

  • Eric Blake

    (Yells at wife) Honey … turn the TV channel from the news on Iran wanting to kill Israel and the US … there’s a major problem right here!

  • whattabunchacrap

    I have a vintage wind-up monkey that hits cymbals together… I think I’ll name it Harris.

  • Anothereno

    Why the hell is this on this site? Garbage, absolute garbage, wake up thedailysheeple you’re falling back to sleep!

  • Infidel51

    She should just change her name to Self Absorbed Bitch. Problem solved.

  • Tatiana Covington

    Get a life, stupid.

  • onemotherpucker

    I think its a guy

  • bozotoo

    I think it does look like her.
    But why did they name it “Harris Faulkner?”
    What are the odds?

  • Tina Searcy

    I think she is Hi! The Anchor, not the Hamster.

  • Tina Searcy

    OK wait! Maybe if you turn the hamster face sideways? No, never mind! Still can’t see it.

  • JackP32

    The Judge will grant summary judgment in favor of the toy company. How much more absurd can these lawsuits get?

  • Jasper

    Okay, now it’s the end of the world.

  • Jim

    If she is Emotionally damaged by that, then she bigger issues!!

  • Tatiana Covington

    I just did an experiment:

    http://www.whitepages.com/name/Harris-Faulkner

    Quite a few of them in the US!

  • YaRt

    “emotionally damaged”

    ah……………………….yep.

  • IpseSenex

    Sorry….which one is the reporter?