Dumbing Down the Herd: Brain-Numbing New Toys Poop Rainbows, Glitter, and Jewels

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Top Tier Gear USA

poopsy pets

Because every little girl needs a doll that poops. Particularly if it emits adorable sparkly poop.

Moxie Girls, a brand of doll made by MGA Entertainment, the company that makes the scantily clad Bratz dolls, now have a new line: Poopsy Pets.

No, you haven’t stumbled onto a satire website. This is a thing. Seriously. You can find it here.

It would be too much to supply kids with non-electronic toys that allow them to just use their imaginations. I long for the days of toy kitchens, playhouses, tree forts, and baseball gloves. Those days have been replaced by the ilk of Poopsy Pets. Gee whiz, what happened to playing cowboys and indians? (Ooops – politically incorrect.) What about baking imaginary cupcakes in pretend ovens? (Uh-oh – gender stereotyping.) No, instead one can now opt between pets that poop rainbows, jewels, or glitter.  Be sure and check out the rather distasteful graphics HERE by clicking on the pets. This is clearly a far more socially acceptable type of toy.

Here’s the product description from Toys R Us:

The Moxie Girlz™ are living in a fun, fantasy world, complete with their very own whimsical pets!

The Moxie Girlz™ Poopsy Pets Doll features include:

  • Moxie Girlz doll with her own fantasy pet
  • Whimsical fashion
  • Pet really poops? each unique to each pet!
  • Avery has a pet koala who poops jewels
  • Lexa has a pet bunny who poops glittered poop
  • Kellan has a pet unicorn who poops rainbow poop

Play is supposed to prepare our kids for life. I guess the real question is, what exactly does this prepare someone for? Unrealistic expectations about poop? About the pleasantness of pet ownership? Ditzy children who giggle maniacally during commercials? I certainly don’t see the pursuit of liberty and revolution in the future of the users of these toys. If these girls are future farmers, they are going to be in for a horrible surprise the first time they have to muck out a barn.

Is this just the latest step in dumbing down the herd?

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  • oldranger68

    We are not progressing. Mankind is regressing. Just think, the human owners, the 1%, will have their very own gentile morons in the NWO. See what we have to look forward to? Oh, wait. We’re too busy gushing about shitting toys to be able to look forward.

    • Sir Phartzalot

      Sh!tting pretty. GI Joe loses his bowels. Great marketing concept.

      • oldranger68

        In the immortal words of today’s text and other communicators…OMG!

  • petercrissgirl1972

    Now if they had one that shit corn….That in itself, boggles the mind…chew the corn and SHAZAM! comes out whole again!

  • Mike’s Mechanical

    A little late for April Fools, no?

  • M_111

    Everybody poops?

  • Kama

    If you’re finding the time to whinge about children’s toys, things aren’t as bad as this site makes them out to be.

  • spidermonkey

    hahha- Poop rainbows and glitter- Just like the Mainstream media when talking about how great NObama is!!!!

  • raven

    Most certainly a sign of the failing empire.

  • Kama

    There’s a housing bubble in China, bankers or people connected to JP Morgan Chase are mysteriously dying, Venezuela is in a bad way, there was an 8.1 earthquake off the coast of Chile, Fort Hood was shot up again, but no, we need to complain about the toys kids play with.

  • overit

    I sorta hoped it was a late April fool joke..but it isnt..
    really warped!

  • Kama

    Articles like this are like watching a political debate. You want to look away, but you can’t help laughing at the stupidity that invariably follows. Really, how is this and the article about the Holy Grail and the ark any different than the mainstream fawning over Justin Bieber’s hair? It isn’t. Yet, through some delusion of reference, you all have convinced yourself it isn’t.

    But I guess I should book a flight to China to singlehandedly unravel a multifaceted political and economic issue, force a federal investigation of a supermassive banking chain, build a time machine to help the Venezuelans before their political system got so convoluted, and stop Mother Nature in her tracks. As for Fort Hood, it’s not like I live there or anything. Nah. I’m just in on some mass conspiracy, even though any laws that might arise from this tragedy would have no effect on civilians.

    Really though, didn’t your mother ever tell you to look at yourself before you point fingers? If “poopsie pets” are such a big deal, let capitalism do what it does best. If kids think it’s lame, they won’t ask for it and it won’t sell, so toy companies have to design something new.