Darwin Rolls Over In Grave As Canada Issues Warning Not To Eat Laundry Pods

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Top Tier Gear USA


Health Canada’s warning to not eat the laundry pods (designed to be thrown in a washing machine and wash clothes) surely has Charles Darwin spinning in his grave. It probably has others determined to take the warnings off of everything too, and let evolution handle things.

Let’s face it. If you have to be told NOT to eat soap, you’re probably already on a lower evolutionary rung than a fish. But that’s exactly what Health Canada thought their people needed. If we were Canadian, we wouldn’t know if we should be offended that the government thinks we are complete doofuses, or happy that those who may eat laundry pods can actually read enough and comprehend and heed a warning.

According to The Hive, the reminder comes after an ongoing Internet joke about “Tide Pods” and how they look like a delicious snack. We’re not even sure where this idea came from, but social media has been going wild with “Tide Pod” memes recently.

Seriously. You don’t even have to document the quickly deteriorating IQ numbers.  Just spend a few minutes on social media.

But the joke caught the attention of the Canadian government, who obviously thinks their citizenry is so ill-informed that they need a reminder and a warning not to eat dissolvable laundry pods.

This lovely little tweet basically makes Canadians look too stupid to function. “Sometimes it’s not that easy to tell the difference,” the warning reads. Really? Seriously? But again, this is a government agency, inept on every level and attempting to cater to the lowest common denominator. They probably can’t tell the difference, so they assume others can’t either. It’s cool though. Let’s put the government in charge of healthcare! Because, you know, they have been on the ball with warnings not to eat laundry soap!

“Because laundry detergent packets are small and often brightly colored, children can mistake them for food or toys,” said Health Canada in a statement. It’s a good thing they clarified “children” could mistake these things for food.

But on another note, do parents need to be told to not let their kids play with laundry detergent? Apparently. And all of a sudden, all of the UN’s population control schemes seem to make sense.

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  • tonye

    But, but, it keeps the toilets clean and the drain pipes cleared!

    Is there a spearmint flavored pod yet?

    • Simon says

      sounds like an advertisement for the Chelsea Handler tinder account.

  • ArtBell

    When you see who Canada has for a prime minister it starts to make sense.

    • elbustaroyjetspeekerson

      Hell, when I was touring Canadia back when, they had ultra-hottie Maggie Trudeau suddenly ditch her role as Mrs. PM and leave her hubby (permanently, if memory serves) to go on tour w/ the Stones AS A GROUPIE. Rumor had it she had quoite the appetite for coke, and I’m not talkin’ soda pop…….

      • moTrouble69

        Yep, and now her little coke baby grew up to be Prime Minister…what a country.

    • The Millennial “Dude Where’s My Cellphone” guy ?

  • elbustaroyjetspeekerson

    Hey this is the country, back when I was in a band touring Canadia, that would make us literally cross back over to Uh,murka on foot and walk around the American flagpole when we had to periodically go back to the border to get our new work itinerary and renew our green cards. Seriously. Talk about feeling ‘sheepish’….

  • Cynical Old Bastard

    I hear tell they’re extra tasty when washed down with a glass of ice-cold bleach.


    • ReverendDraco✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ᵃᶜᶜᵒᵘᶰᵗ

      Take a shot of Windex (with Ammonia-D), chase with bleach.

      • Cynical Old Bastard

        Hell yeah! Then lick the sodium silicate beads from the desiccant packets and bite the pod.

        And they tell us we don’t know how to party….

        Sheeiit! We run outta windex, bleach, and detergent we’ll drain the radiator on the fuckin’ tractor!

        We KNOW how to party!

        Anybody out there got some good Drano recipes? Or oven cleaner?

  • Tatiana Covington

    Honestly now, is eugenics really so bad?

    • It’s not bad when done right, problem is the WMDs are in the hands of the likes of Bill Gates, George Soros, Jeff Bezos, Clanton Gang etc…

  • Tatiana Covington

    Nah, it’s all Trump’s evil scheme to soften up the Canadians to annex them outright! T 😉

  • Milly Vanilly

    They are probably safer than the GMO’s in our food….I mean the ‘Biofortified nutrients’.
    When they want to SCREW the public, they just change the words.

    • You mean the ORGANIC labeled GMOs.

  • ReverendDraco✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ᵃᶜᶜᵒᵘᶰᵗ

    My favorite part of the Star Wars universe isn’t the lightsabers or the cool spaceships, or even the Force.

    It’s the relative lack of guard rails and warning signs.

    A sidewalk 140 stories up the side of a building. . . open space to one side.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7871d9f5747bdcd929bac092d6ea079f4ced10d715d7ec0360abbe256df1498d.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ccb6fc981369e6f5f78c2dd7951b479585a064a0b3a24ea3ff193049dfb8acc9.jpg


  • doodaa

    I guess it would look like candy to a little kid or an adult doofuss.

    • Sallie Ann

      Or the rapefugees from Africa who have no idea what laundry detergent is!!!

  • Tark McCoy

    Please recall this warning. Those things are like rat poison for the stupid.

  • Sallie Ann

    Bet they’re putting those warning labels on laundry detergent as the rapefugees think it’s fancy CANDY!!!!!!

  • Yes ! I am all for Evolution, take away all warnings, do not allow for frivolous law suits.

  • George Washington

    See, this is why I left Canada.

  • james ha

    don’t eat laundry pods, what!
    damnit laundry pods sprinkled over black african migrants
    slow roasted over a charcoal grill? i have an excellent tasty recipe
    for that. what!
    bring it on migrants….see what happens.

  • Awaiting moderation

    Dishwashing pods are okay with maple syrup eh?

  • Justin Thought

    Damn. NOW where am I going to get my minimum daily requirement of fiber?

  • Steve

    LOL,LOL…we Canadians are becoming use to these absurd big brother sort of announcements from this Trudeau feminized government. Health Canada is just another government entity with a comedic announcement.

  • Agent 86

    I encourage people to eat them. I’m for thinning the herd any way possible.

  • Fingal Carson

    I agree with the title. If they’re that fucking stupid, just let them. This planet is far too overpopulated.

  • Lady Jenavi

    Ummm…just google “stupid teens eating tide pods” to see where this warning is coming from. There have been thousands of cases of stupid teenagers issuing challenges to each other to eat the damn things, and they are getting really badly hurt by doing so! It’s not just in Canada either…you Americans are just as stupid. I’m very disappointed that you did not do any research into this serious issue…Health Canada was not remiss in warning people not to eat Tide Pods! Of course, it won’t help the stupid teens determined to self-harm, but still…something needed to be done to raise awareness! Educate yourselves instead of laughing at us. You have some pretty damn warped readers commenting here too! 🙁