CIA Agents Arguing Over Bathing In Champagne Is What We Want In Our Spies

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Top Tier Gear USA


Bathing in champagne was a major topic of debate among CIA agents in the 1950s.

Recently released memos from 1952 show agents debating whether or not champagne from California is suitable enough to bathe in, and it’s a fascinating discussion.

CIA 1 (Credit: CIA Publicly Released Documents)

CIA 1 (Credit: CIA Publicly Released Documents)

CIA 2 (Credit: CIA Publicly Released Documents)

CIA 2 (Credit: CIA Publicly Released Documents)

CIA 3 (Credit: CIA Publicly Released Documents)

CIA 3 (Credit: CIA Publicly Released Documents)

The British might have James Bond, but has he ever showered or bathed in champagne? The answer is no. Our spies are so elite that they turn their noses up at the idea of bathing in California champagne. They need the real stuff. They need the bubbly straight out of France.

I also want my spies to be spraying champagne everywhere. It’s obviously the best way to get information out of people. Nobody is going to get their secrets once our spies spray a little champagne, throw a little money around and bring around some women. Of course, if the champagne, cash and strippers fail, our spies can always turn to the gun.

I just hate making messes, and why shoot people when you can instead pop champagne and party?

I also can’t imagine what CIA gatherings much have been like in the 1950s. I have a strong sense it’s a lot like all those secret societies we always hear about. Just crazy stuff happening left and right, and nobody speaks of it outside of the room. That’s the America I want to live in.

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  • darkhorse


  • Milly Vanilly

    Imagine WHAT they argue about now.

  • rouge1

    To unleash that much evil on the world and ones own country should have some perks.

  • SP_88

    Your tax dollars at work.

  • Rift

    Being spy type stuff, Anyone think there just talking in code?

  • The texts shown are historically interesting for the different messages they reveal when raid in ‘A’, ‘B’,’C’, and ‘D’ keys.

  • gazoo3


  • tonye

    These people were actually funny, huh?

    “In conformity with Government practices, few (if any) employees are assigned for duties for which they are suited by training and experience…”

    “His average consumption during four decades is high.”

    “Western States uphold their vinous products…”

    That shows a good sense of humor and an impeccable sense of reality. Good things to have when you had to deal with the Commies back in the 50s.