Sunday, March 1st, 2015


Good News! Tax Audits Will Dwindle to Record Levels This Year

Friday, February 27th, 2015

No politician wants to go on record as the guy who voted to fund one of the most despised agencies in America. Perhaps if more Americans voiced their hatred of the IRS, they’ll lose even more money.

Kim Jong Un Gains 100 Pounds and Gets Ridiculous Haircut

Sunday, February 22nd, 2015

While the people of North Korea are widely reported to be suffering from constant food shortages, it doesn’t look like the leader of the country is under similar constraints…

Video: The Top 10 Things Vice President Joe Biden Might’ve Whispered to the Defense Secretary’s Wife

Friday, February 20th, 2015

It’s really hard to watch this, even with David Letterman making jokes over it.

Coming Soon: The Department of the Internet

Thursday, February 19th, 2015

Trusting the government to run the Internet is like trusting the NSA to never spy on Americans.

Minnesota Newspaper Apologizes for Calling Obama an ‘Assclown’

Wednesday, February 18th, 2015

A local newspaper in Minnesota has retracted part of a story in which its reporter criticized President Barack Obama for using a selfie stick during a BuzzFeed video piece, calling the Commander in Chief an “assclown”.

People Sign Petition to Add Soylent Green to School Menus for Michelle Obama’s Lunch Program

Tuesday, February 17th, 2015

Mark Dice proves, once again, that people will sign petitions for just about anything.

Russian Farmer Pays His $610 Bank Loan with Manure

Monday, February 16th, 2015

He decorated the heap with miniature gallows and posters saying “Down with credit slavery” and “Bankers are the enemies of the people.”

Charlie Sheen: ‘I May Run for President as a Republican!’

Sunday, February 15th, 2015

He said he gets 100% “YES” votes when he personally polls himself.

John Oliver: Big Pharma Marketing to Doctors

Friday, February 13th, 2015

Pharmaceutical companies spend billions of dollars marketing drugs to doctors. John Oliver of Last Week Tonight points out the issues with that.

‘Viagra Ice Cream’ & Bondage Emergencies: Kinky UK Braces for 50 Shades of Valentine’s Day

Friday, February 13th, 2015

Emergency services are on standby for a spate of “bedroom antics-gone-wrong.”

Joe Biden Gives Shout Out to “an Old Butt Buddy” in Iowa Speech (Video)

Thursday, February 12th, 2015

This is our Vice President, America.

Middle Schoolers Given Word Search Puzzles Based on the Erotic Novel “Fifty Shades of Grey”

Thursday, February 12th, 2015

The puzzle included words like “bondage,” “submissive,” “leather cuffs,” “intercourse,” and “spanking” among others.

Idiocracy Is Here: Australia Is Putting in French Fry Vending Machines

Monday, February 2nd, 2015

And don’t forget, drink Brawndo! It’s got electrolytes! (Welcome to Costco, I love you…)

Alternative Superbowl Ad: Monsanto for President

Monday, February 2nd, 2015

If Monsanto transparently ran for president, it probably would look a lot like this.

Not Joking: 4th Grader Suspended for Making ‘Terroristic Threat’ with Magic Ring from ‘The Hobbit’ Movie

Monday, February 2nd, 2015

How much more pathetic do public schools in America have to GET before they just start imploding from the sheer level of STUPID?

Palin for President? Really?? Try to Make Sense of Her Bizarre, Barely Coherent Word Salad Freedom Summit Speech

Tuesday, January 27th, 2015

They’re claiming the video and resultant transcript below is due to a teleprompter outage. To be fair, I would too.

Video: Nanny State Billboards…Cuz the Government Is Your Mommy!

Saturday, January 24th, 2015

What a sad testament to our society that there are more billboards on the side of the road from the government reminding us to have basic common sense than there are companies trying to sell us crap.

Breaking News: Chocolate Milk Only Requires 3 Ingredients!!!

Monday, January 19th, 2015

Stop the presses! Startling new research shows that chocolate milk does not require degrees in chemistry and engineering to make! Who knew?

Wanna Watch Bill Gates Drink Poop Water?

Tuesday, January 13th, 2015

This is reminiscent of Soylent Green, no? Paints a bleak picture of where the world is headed under the elite technocracy running things.

‘Daily Show’ Trolls NYPD ‘Slowdown,’ Invites You to ‘Sh*ttier New York’

Friday, January 9th, 2015

Daily Show host Jon Stewart took a more optimistic tack on the news that New York City police were intentionally cutting down on arrests as part of a grudge against Mayor Bill de Blasio.

CIA Claims Top Secret Aircraft Are Responsible for UFO’s

Wednesday, January 7th, 2015

The CIA claims that these top secret aircraft are responsible for more than half of all UFO sightings. But what do we make of the other half?

Man Explains to WFTV News Why He Loves the Orlando Police Department

Saturday, December 27th, 2014

A man tells a news reporter why he loves the Orlando Police Department.

The Daily Sheeple’s Twelve Days of Christmas

Thursday, December 25th, 2014

On the first day of Christmas my government gave to me, a multi-trillion dollar deficit.

Silent night, oh what a night…

Wednesday, December 24th, 2014

Silent night, oh what a night, Barack stands, quaking with fright. Watched by Michelle, first dog and the kids…

‘Twas the Night Raid Before Christmas

Wednesday, December 24th, 2014

Enjoy this Christmas classic from Reason TV: ‘Twas the Night Raid Before Christmas.

Photobomb: Maybe Bill Clinton Smiling and Standing Behind Anything Is Creepy?

Wednesday, December 24th, 2014

Last week’s viral pic of Bill Clinton smiling and standing behind this girl creeped people out. I have a theory that this works no matter what Bill Clinton stands behind while smiling. Let’s test it, shall we?

Sony Submits to North Korean Hackers

Thursday, December 18th, 2014

Sony has cried uncle, and has decided to shelve the “The Interview” in its entirety. They’ve canceled their Christmas Release of the film, and have no plans to stream it or release it on DVD.

Question: Why Is the McDonalds Website so Scary?

Wednesday, December 17th, 2014

If a company’s first contact with you is a creepy attempt to justify their products and dispel rumors about whether or not they are real, natural, or possibly filled with worms…

“Hillary for the Holidays”: I Wish I Had a Time Machine to Avoid Mrs. Clinton’s Presidential Bid

Friday, December 12th, 2014

Because I want to give someone a gift that says, “I went out of my way and even spent my own money supporting a fascist psychopath to let you know on Christmas of all days just how much I can’t stand you as a human being.”

Sad but Funny (but Sad): America Is Much Worse Than a Bad Boyfriend

Monday, December 8th, 2014

When you leave America, it’s not even really like a girlfriend breaking up with a boyfriend (with the boyfriend making dubious claims the girl owes him a bunch of money he can’t actually prove she legitimately owes to try and keep her there). No, leaving turns more into a pimp/ho situation…

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