9 Easy Ways To Get Your Name on a Government Watch List

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by Alice Jones Webb

You might think that government watch lists are reserved for violent radical extremists. You might be wrong.

There is a very serious war taking place, a “war on terror“. Which should sound ludicrous to any rational, thinking human being. How can we wage a war on terror? Terror is a consequence of war itself. You can’t fight a war on something that war produces? Talk about a vicious cycle. And terror doesn’t only exist overseas. There are apparently very dangerous people here on domestic soil, too. Dangerous people that don’t follow the herd. Who don’t walk in orderly lines. Scary people that oppose corrupt systems.

Some people consider earning a spot on the government watch list as a badge of honor. Fortunately for them, it doesn’t seem too difficult to land yourself on one of these government watch lists (at least not if you’ve ever had a thought independent of the ones the media is constantly spoon feeding you… or if you’re a fairly normal and boring human being). Here is a short list of pretty non-terrifying  and easy ways to land yourself on a government watch list.

1. Displaying Bumper Stickers on Your Vehicle

If you think the display of snarky bumper stickers all over the back of your minivan is just a form of self-expression, you’re wrong. It could be an act of terrorism. According to a training manual used in the State and Local Anti-Terrorism Training (SLATT) program for law enforcement (and funded by the Department of Justice) some bumper stickers could be indications of terrorist activity. Some suspicious sticker subjects include pro-life, pro-freedom, anti-genetic engineering, anti-United Nations, and patriotism (because patriotism = terrorism… interesting). Got any of these on your bumper? You might be a terrorist… because, you know… terrorists always announce themselves with bumper stickers.

2. Shop at Costco or Sam’s Club

Purchasing food in bulk (at least enough to last more than 7 days) could be interpreted as suspicious activity. Even if you just like the convenience of fewer grocery store trips, or you have a large family, or maybe you only get paid monthly, or like to save money (that’s probably just a cover anyway), stocking up on mega amounts of peanut butter and toilet paper and ravioli could mean you’re a terrorist.

3. Pay With Cash

Suspicious, isn’t it? That you would pay cold hard cash for anything? Maybe because it’s harder for the powers that be to keep tabs on cash purchases than electronic ones. Think twice about pulling out a few ones to pay for your morning coffee. It’s probably even more terrifying if you pay for your bulk peanut butter, toilet paper, and ravioli with a few twenties.

4. Vote Third Party

Step outside the two-party political illusion and you might be considered a terrorist threat. A law enforcement report (2009) from the Missouri Information Analysis Center (MIAC) listed libertarians (and Ron Paul supporters) as potential terrorist threats. In 2011, Vice President Biden equated Tea Party supporters with terrorists. Heck, you probably don’t even have to vote with a third party,perhaps just thinking about voting for someone outside the two party system would be enough to get you in trouble with the “thought police”.

5. Fly the American Flag

According to that same MIAC report, people who fly the U.S. flag (or any of several historic American flags like the “Betsy Ross flag” or the “Gadsden flag”) could be equated with extremist hate groups and domestic terrorists. Be careful on Independence Day. Those potential terrorists are everywhere.

Gadsden Flag

6. Homeschool

Unless you’re teaching your kids how to field strip a rifle in under a minute you probably think that you’re safe. All of those worksheets and museum trips and popsicle-stick art couldn’t possibly be a threat to national security. Yet the documentary film, 9/11: The Road To Tyranny, featured footage of a lecturer at a FEMA symposium for first responders stating that homeschoolers were terrorists and should be treated with the utmost suspicion and brutality in times of national emergency. Wow. Here I thought I was just providing a superior education.

7. Plant A Garden

If you want fresh vegetables or you just enjoy getting your hands dirty, you might be a domestic terrorist. According to an 18-year law enforcement veteran, the Department of Homeland Security is training local police to recognize potential domestic terrorists. On the list: self-sufficiency. And if you’re canning your extra tomatoes, that could be interpreted as “stock-piling food”, another item on their list of criteria. Buying fertilizer for your garden could also catch the FBI’s attention, especially if you asked too many questions at the farm supply store.

8. Take Pictures or Videos

Who doesn’t take pictures of symbolic monuments while on vacation? Showing too much interest in or snapping “inappropriate” photos of important landmarks could earn you some attention from the FBI. Think twice before capturing one more family memory in front of the Capitol Building next time you vacation in Washington D.C.

9. Believe in Conspiracy Theories

After reading this list, it’s easy to believe in some insane government conspiracy to land every American citizen on a government watch list. Beware: Believing in conspiracy theories… well, that’s reason enough to land your name on a government watch list.

About the Author

Alice Jones Webb is a writer, autodidact, and homeschooling mother to four children. She spends her days folding laundry, raising free-thinkers, and questioning everything. She can easily be found on Facebook, Twitter, and her website, Different Than Average, where she writes social commentary and chronicles a life that challenges the status quo.

Resources

The Anatomy of a Breakdown

The Prepper’s Blueprint: The Step-By-Step Guide To Help You Through Any Disaster

Prepper’s Home Defense: Security Strategies to Protect Your Family by Any Means Necessary

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  • Mike

    Dang, guess I am full blown then because I have most of what is on that list.

    • Jollyjoke

      Watch your back Mike.

    • patriotism-matters

      You and me both brother.

      • Mark Owen

        Me three!!!

  • Smarty

    So now the assholes have a list that is comprised of 95% of the people. Wouldn’t it be easier for them to just make a list of those who AREN’T terrorists?

    • StevetheHun

      I am pretty sure most of the sheeple out there aren’t good enough to make the list.

    • RandyJ/ProudSurvivor

      Yes-and much, MUCH cheaper!

      • Smarty

        You see Randy, I have my OWN list too, and many of these “gov’t officials and bureaucRATS” are fighting for the very top of MY list. But no worries….I have plenty of room for all of those mother fuckers…

        • James Michael

          We have lists also of every traitor filmed in the act…or on the record….as having committed treason….They are making their beds….
          Olmsted v. United States, (1928) 277 U.S. 438
          “Crime is contagious. If the Government becomes a lawbreaker, it breeds contempt for law; it invites every man to become a law unto himself; it invites anarchy.”

  • StevetheHun

    People see 9-11 or San Bernardino, and then the government says they’re
    going to stop terrorism, and people naturally believe they mean Islamic
    terrorism.

    Oh hell no! They mean YOU and I!! !! If you’re a
    patriot, believe in the Constitution and the rule of law, you’re a
    potential terrorist. If you believe in logic and reason, you’re guilty
    of a thought crime.

    • icetrout

      fok-a-duck,how many mooslims have the FedCoats let into “OUR COUNTRY” since 9-11-2001 ??? Govment Workers are the real terrorist !

  • whiteberry

    I’m pretty sure just reading that article put us on a list…

    • Mesquite_Thorn

      If you’re NOT on a government watch list, you should be ashamed of yourself.

  • Chir

    10. Post in comments on Daily Sheeple… Wait a second… Dang it… /facepalm…

    • Mark Owen

      No, just clicking on this website will do the job! Read that you freakin government spies!

      • Mesquite_Thorn

        You mean “brown shirt douchebags”… there, i fixed it.

        • Mark Owen

          They are now trying to outlaw having an American Flag flying out side on my house. I made sure I got a BRAND NEW ONE. Looks real good too!

          • Mesquite_Thorn

            Unfurl the colors, call Taps and you’ll see me salute. I took the oath and have taken a bullet for this country. I’ll be damned if I lose it to the people who would tell anyone that our flag is anything but a badge of honor.

  • Helluva3ngineer

    Isn’t this list about 5 years old?

    • WinstonSmithy

      Yep. Prolly just a scheduled reminder from the psyop teams paid for by some of the debt, money printing, and sometimes taxes. “Heroes”, dont’cha know. I ain’t skeered.

  • Eric

    I guess taking a shit would get you on the list too. . . . .

    • ahuxley

      Only if they catch you preping by trying to recycle the toilet paper…

    • Mesquite_Thorn

      That depends… is your shit flouride free?

  • Jim

    Need to add #10: subscribe to prepper sites.

  • http://drudgereport.com/ Chris Ritchie

    OMG…! I AM SO SCREWED… I had eight of the nine! Me, a Terrorist…? What would my mother say? hehe

  • RandyJ/ProudSurvivor

    Do these bastards understand that they’re not the only ones keeping lists? Lists of potential “terrorists” and enemies. It’s high time they understand this list keeping business is a two way street.

  • Ken, Megapolis

    Good evening. I like flags. I don’t always fly them. . . but when I do I hope yous like them. For starters I fly the Union Jack 🇬🇧. The British flag. I have also flown American flags 🇺🇸. The reason is I think it is pretty and in July we all have fun, know what I mean hey hey hey.
    I desire to be on a watch list. How and why? I am an EGOTIST you see. I cannot help it. Never mind, better to be known than die at the end of a life that had been in vain, a more vain sort of vain than I have already outlined LOL.
    If I can flood the spook’s offices with irrelevant data and pointless pleasures then my journey (and I shall call it a JOURNEY) was not in vain.
    So help me keep my vanity no matter what LOL.

    • Mesquite_Thorn

      …Welcome to Doctor Sheldon Cooper’s “Fun with Flags”…

      I like Mozambique’s, mainly because I own an AK47.

    • DrNo

      got any of those false flags in your collection?

  • ExecutorOffice

    Submit, Obey, Comply, Pay Taxes…..

    She didn’t mention anything about stockpiling GUNS & AMMO

  • Beowulf73

    Wahoo……..9 for 9

  • sam

    Oh well the Worlds upside down I got 8 out of 9 covered

  • moovova

    Shop at Costco or Sam’s?

    WHEW! Well, that leaves us out. We shop at BJs Warehouse.

  • Reverend Draco

    I’m 6 of 9. . . woohoo!

    If I haven’t been on a list somewhere, for quite a few years now. . . I’ve been slacking off.

  • LindaI

    Sorry, this article only serves to promote paranoia. ‘Sustainability’ is a good ‘green’ attitude, and is becoming mainstream. Raising your own veggies IS sustainability. Homeschooling to give your child a more fulfilling education and be a larger part of their lives, voting 3rd party because the other 2 are insider trading warmongers, buying cheese and meat from Sam’s to save money, paying with cash because you stay better on a budget that way, and having questions about how the laws of physics were broken on Sept 11th do not make a person dangerous.
    I went to the link about fertilizer and it clearly does not apply to the typical shopper. The FBI IS NOT looking at you if you are paying with cash for your necessities, growing your own food, voting for 3rd parties (how would they know?), believe JFK was not assassinated by a lone gunman nor believe Building 7 fell into its own footprint due to office fires.
    Yes, the world is changing in a bad way. Articles like this are not useful in altering that path.

  • Douglas Kelly

    If anyone wonders why only idiots trust our government, then this will suffice as a starting point. When the citizens lose faith in their government, then there is no government.

  • lazWbiPdit

    This is too paranoid. Like fear porn.
    I always pay cash for everyday expenses. Why is it on the list? One would have to be following me around to know I use cash. This is ridiculous. Paying cash allows me to manage my spending and there is 0 record of who I am, not that it makes any difference. I also have a garden. I’m a photographer.
    This article is stupid. Don’t live in fear.

  • 0hiojoe

    Make a comment about obungle!

  • Carl-Cathy Wisnesky

    Well, from this list we are already there multiple times. But just to make sure, we are posting this comment on this article. That should do it for sure.

  • bruce b

    You forgot to add “Subscribe to, and comment on websites like ‘The Daily Sheeple.”

    Um…OOPS.

  • disqus_tKUiAezKl2

    It’s time for awake Americans to start keeping lists.

  • icetrout

    Got a Sh*tlist of my own… guess who’s on it ???

  • http://berealtruth.wordpress.com brtanner

    #10 – Click through and read this article…

  • abinico

    Cool, I get 8 out of 9.

  • Buzg

    Are we targeted for reading “TheDailySheeple”? Wouldn’t be surprised.

  • toodorky

    Our founding fathers would be considered as terrorists by our government just as the British did in the 1700s. Consider the stigma as being in good company.

  • americuh

    Our government is a way out there psycho conspiracy theorist.

  • The Rev.

    You have to be a enemy of the USA to see anyone who love America as terrorist… Look at it from the Islamic side, and we will get the same answers. Now you know who is charge in the White House. We are in danger. They forgot posting on Face Book.

  • Broos

    JFK :

    – Eternal Flamer

  • https://www.facebook.com/crystal.starheart Crystal R. Starheart

    It isn’t a WATCH LIST anymore — IT IS A TARGETED INDIVIDUAL LIST so that they can have the government covert/black ops teams target you for crimes:

  • todd fries

    The war on “blah blah blah” is a lie. Cash is treason. Eating meat soon to be a felony. Power to the COLLECTIVE. All hail the New Flesh!!

  • GRAMPA

    I well may be at the top of the list. When off my pain medications I can step up my rant with the best. I am an example of government education so my spelling is very bad and my English is only understandable with my run on paragraphs. I have no problem with my criticism of a president who has shown he has no respect for our heroes or the people who work hard and raise children to respect others and be a value to the community. Both parties have one goal to control. Each taking turns in their productions that rival the Broadway plays of who is the bad guy today. We see the import of people who have no respect for our values but demand that we respect theirs. We are now no longer citizens but subjects owned by the state that provides the funding for their opulent lifestyles. Hunger games does fit the description as to what we are heading for. Are we so involved in the lifestyle generated by our directors that we can no longer recognize our problems? How many can recite the names and stat’s for their favorite NBL or NFL player but dont know who their representative or senators are. How many can tell us who secretary of defense is? As long as the populous is entertained government can do as they want. Are we truly happy with our stumble about our daily lives in our controlled fall? Government has diverted our perception of happiness that limits it to having the largest cell phone and texting while sipping on a latte from Starbucks. So much for controlling the middle class. The poor is now controlled with the fake credit card that doles out the support government says they have a right to. As long as they provide the support for the correct party. The threat of the loss of their support keeps them in line with the proper perspective . To continue the dependence government has control of the schools and would even like to start earlier in preschool. The constant message that the women are equal to men and dont need their support because government will care for you has given us the “Black” mentality. While I agree it can be done most boys need the father figure and a woman cannot give it. Face it nature made us different “thank god” and what has worked for four million years must have something going for the system. It seems government knows better. This is my main goal is to return to our republic so many of our heroes died for. I am now starting to feel the meds and apologize for the length of my rant for I must get it out in time. God bless America.
    Grampa

  • I forgot

    I’m pretty sure breathing and having a heart beat should be on the list.

  • James Michael

    If you aren’t on these treasonous felons watchlists….You are a colluder in their treason or a pansy assed coward…..